Tag Archives: Politics

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How not to win a protest

Attention Occupy Central, this isn’t going to work. Mass civil protests do not usually succeed when you live in a country without a civil society. If the Reds killed you all tomorrow, what do you think the rest of the world would do? Protest? Sanction Red China?

It’s not going to happen. The entire planet’s iPhone 6s are made there. This is apparently a strategic industry more valuable than oil, gold, or rhino horns. Nobody’s going to help you. The Earth’s people need that phone. They use it to talk to their friends, watch drunk cat videos, and read shitty blog posts produced by idiots.

By clogging up the streets you’ve given the Reds the chance to paint you as obstructionist lunatics. And they can just wait you out. The election’s not until 2017. Eventually you’re going to have to shower, use the bathroom, or pay the bills somehow. When you leave, the Reds will just carry on with the same plan as if nothing happened.

The way we see this you have two legit options:

1) Start burning the city now in a reckless attempt to provoke a wider civil war

2) Calmly & methodically negotiate with your Communist masters; and use the power of freedom & justice to progressively expose their fraud-hack-dictatorship over many decades until they collapse

As much as we’d enjoy watching the chaos of the former option, we strongly endorse the latter as your best bet.

hk29sep

They won’t need gunfire, it’ll get cold soon enough

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Are you happy? 91 lashes for you, pig!

Leave it to some of the planet’s creepiest, most hypocritical goons to get mad at a dance song.  They can embezzle billions, rape their own people for three decades, and murder at will.  But the folks they rule can’t dance or they get tortured.  Wow, that’s quite the benevolent religious paradise they’ve got going.  Who wouldn’t want to join the club?

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-29272732

You know, I sometimes get the feeling that brutal dictatorships do this just because they can.  They don’t really care about these people dancing, they just want to show everybody they can crush folks at a whim.  That they can be assholes for no reason and get away with it.

I especially think that’s the case here because they actually got these folks to confess on camera that they’d been duped.  Not only can the overwhelming power of the Iranian State keep you from dancing, it can melt your brain to the point you admit you hate dancing, when you don’t.  All Hail!  I want to live in a Benevolent State than can force me to admit on video that I hate beer.  Good luck with that, hit squad losers!  I’m pretty sure you’d have to electric drill my cheeks first.

Maybe the Iranian State’s death squads need to change their tune?  Maybe they should try smiling a little, like spread happiness instead of raw fear.  At least then they could pull the wool over everybody’s eyes.  Here, just take a look at this guy, now this is how you spread happiness in a vicious-fenced-liquidation-camp:

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Now that’s a guy I could have a drink with!

I feel bad for Pharrell Williams though, that he has this on his conscience, it’s not his fault, but he says the right thing:

“It is beyond sad that these kids were arrested for trying to spread happiness,”

So if ordinary citizens post a video online saying they’re happy to be from Tehran and are then punished by the Iranian State, does that mean the Iranian State is not happy to be from Tehran?  We think yes.  Accordingly, we invite them to leave Tehran and move in with my guests & I.  I assure you, you’ll be well treated.  You can trust my guests.  They’re just like you guys, so you know you can count on honesty and integrity.

stormy

The Arcturus Project’s Weekly (Not Weekly) Stormy Cloud Award goes to His Eminence Grand Ayatollah Ali Hosseini Khamenei, Overlord & Dictator of the Iranian People