Monthly Archives: April 2018

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I need Kim Jong-Un to sell my house

You would think that living as a comical Bond villain who builds c-grade nuclear weapons and runs labor death camps would get one put into the bad guy column pretty easily.  Then folks would treat that person like the living Hitler they were, and we’d respond accordingly.

You’d be wrong.

People are fascinated by Kim Jong-Un in a manner I just find weird.  When his sister showed up at the Olympics the press covered her like she was some celebrity Kardashian.  Never mind that all those expensive clothes she wore come at the expense of her starving people.  Here was a royal figure the press could dig into with glee.

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And take a gander at this Versailles picture from the BBC with this bizarre fawning line:

“North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un is to be served a Swiss potato dish at a summit dinner with the South, in an apparent attempt to remind him of school.”

Oh my, what an interesting line.  It’s almost like it’s totally cool if you run an extermination camp, as long as you’re unique.  Selective morality is awesome!  Just ask most of today’s Western elite.

But really, I need Kim to sell my house too.  Because the latest fiction is this guy is committed to giving up his nuclear weapons.  Kim said so, so China says so, so does Trump, the media, whoever.

People just buy this shit like it’s true, because they really don’t seem to think things through.  But, I guess, that’s to be expected when their whole lives are focused upon the most recent controversial Tweet, what Trump said to who, and who is outraged at who today.

But I’ll call this one right now, the celebrity cottage boy in Kim is not giving up his nukes.  Daddy played the same game with the planet and got away with it.  North Korea still has nukes.  We’ve been down this road before.

If you still don’t believe me, or think just now there might be some hope of resolution, then please bask in this entirely unrelated photo of Gaddafi as he was beaten, sexually assaulted, and mutilated by a crowd before expiring.  Note the guy nonchalantly smoking in the bottom right corner.  In the end, tis nothing to kill a king.

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Trust me, Kim’s not giving up his nukes.  Kim is playing everybody for fools.  Again.  That anybody swallows this nonsense as reality tells me Kim’s the guy to sell my home.  I could have a swarm of crocodiles living in the attic, Kim could make the sale happen.

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oh, no, it’s happening again :(

Why do we do this other stuff?  Why not.  If nothing else, football gives us a chance to relax from the deeper issues we post here at TAP.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to a third blog to post (one way or the other) about my opinions on the latest Trump administration rumor.

Either that, or jump over to our sister site.  Bask in the high quality website design.  Pay no attention whatsoever to the actual written content.  Either way.

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Unrelated logo of organization with name worse than the Fourth Reich, run already, by idiots.

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rocket vinaigrette

This one’s pretty straightforward.  I made this for me Ma off the top of my head, but was not 100% pleased with it.  So when she asked me for the recipe I had to play with it for a few months to get it where I wanted.  Sometimes the simplest of recipes are the hardest to muck with.

The term ‘rocket’ is an inside joke known only to me, and seven other members of an obscure cult funded by a Yugoslavian oil baron who moonlights as a vampire slayer.  But otherwise, it’s not meant to indicate this dressing is somehow special.  It’s not, it’s just a simple salad dressing you can make in 43 seconds.

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Enjoy the journey, bask in the exquisite plate presentation generated by a drunk-jaded-elf, observe only the finest and most complex ingredients, bask in the stupidity of food posts and garbage-level-food-photography provided by the most degenerate of blog authors.  You’ll not regret it!

My last go I used this dressing over a salad with bacon, hard-boiled eggs, peaches, blue cheese, sliced apple, and tomatoes.  I like this salad combo, credit where credit is due, it’s based off an old Emeril recipe that for some reason is now gone from the Food Network website, my printed copy says it’s called “mixed green salad with diced avocado, peaches, crispy bacon, feta cheese, and champagne vinaigrette”.

Let’s begin!

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rocket vinaigrette

1/2 cup olive oil

1/4 cup balsamic vinaigrette

1 Tbsp honey

1 Tbsp mustard

salt & pepper

dash hot sauce

Pour all the ingredients into an airtight container, seal, and shake vigorously.  Spoon over the tasty salad of your choice.

Store in the fridge for up to one week.  Shake again prior to serving.

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I enjoy how it all looks before shaking, it’s science, chemistry, and pretty colors all rolled into one.

Use whatever version of oil, balsamic, honey, mustard, and hot sauce you prefer.  If you want a sharper taste, double the volume of balsamic, mustard, and hot sauce, though this might be too much for most folks.

I used standard Tabasco in this version, but in other more insane versions I’ve used hot sauces that melt metal and it adds a wonderful adventure to your salad journey.  Salad is more exciting when the dressing tingles your lips with burning.

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Enjoy life!