CDC turns, now Tory reactionaries

Hey I get it, fighting covid must be really hard and stressful, but how does that equate to the CDC trying to turn back the clock to 1775?  This poster was on the subway this morning, it’s asinine.  This is probably the first time since the Stamp Act that a British royal crown has existed on an official US government document.

Better watch out fellow patriots, the CDC is out to slit your throats at night in order to restore QE2 to her rightful throne.  A new castle shall be built for her, on the grounds of the Washington Monument after it’s brutally razed by CDC funded bulldozers crewed by drunken EPL hooligans.

I won’t stand for it.  I shall fight!  To start my struggle, I shall ignore the poster’s instructions that I wash my hands.  Only Tory scum wash their hands.  How could this possibility go wrong for me?!

keep-calm-wash-hands-400x400

go get some tar and feathers

competence is the only power over the virus

It would seem virus battle tactics are the new arena of politics.  In an era where everything must be political, soon your tooth brushing method will determine how you vote.

In the meantime, the debate has centered on whether to reopen the economy and risk increased death.  Or to keep the economy closed and risk financial death.  Both these options suck.

But there’s a third way that folks seem to mostly ignore which is what I find baffling.  China’s Communist Party’s talking point is only their all powerful neck stopping model can defeat the virus.  They’re lying, started this to begin with, and are downplaying their own virus infection/death statistics.

The answer lies in South Korea, Taiwan, Australia, New Zealand, and to a lesser extent Germany.  This is the competent category.

Into the incompetent category you can shove the US, Italy, France, Spain, Britain, and of course Communist China.  The answer to this virus is simply that government should do its job.  Instead of sucking.

Sure, there are significant privacy, social, cultural, and obedience factors that likely make introducing a South Korean virus battle methodology into the US problematic, but does that mean it shouldn’t be seriously discussed?  Instead of, you know, just keeping to the same failed talking points both sides have adopted?  The virus doesn’t care who folks voted for.  South Korea never even executed a full lockdown.

I think in the coming decades this will become a more glaring aspect of our planet.  Sure, the differences between democracy and oligarchy are stark.  But what will really set apart nations is simply those that are governed competently, and those that are not.  It will be readily apparent say by 2035, and the split begins now.

sharks are misunderstood too

Humor is great, and there’s not nearly enough of it in our world anymore.  A derivation of this one was posted on the wall of a local bar I go to:

shark hug me

The “Hug Me!!!” gets me laughing.  It’s fun.  But in a search of the dreaded Internets, there are more:

102920141222109

 

Misunderstood-Shark Cage

 

th9ZR43C7Y

Wow!  Event the sharks are in on the religion game.  Just like that guy on the metro yesterday who accosted me and was trying to convert me to the ways of the Aztec demon god Itzpapalotltotec.  As if I’d ever be interested in that.

Hey speaking of being misunderstood, do you feel like nobody gets you in life?  I mean, I do, but don’t worry, Itzpapalotltotec has answers.  The blood of the bone is all you need to clean your soul and find the enlightenment of The Way.  Hug me!!!, ah, or, ah, learn from Itzpapalotltotec.  Yes, yes, um, Itzpapalotltotec has answers.  [shifty eyes]

Or, just look up more funny shark pictures online.  Either way.

ordinary average gentlemen descends from Honey Tower to greet infected filthy masses

When he’s not writing more esoteric, baffling Xi Thought, or establishing a mini-apartheid state, or eating barrels full of honey straight from the hive, Chairman Xi must have a busy life. So it’s pretty cool of him to descend from his famous and luscious Honey Tower to confer with a few people from the degenerate masses [who were prescreened for both disease and political affiliation and had their families held hostage at knifepoint until the cameras left].

Hey, it’s already been over a month since people started dying, but in all honesty you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near these people either. Viruses are bad things, and dictators need to avoid bad things, in order to do bad things to other people. Like locking up doctors who try to stop a bad virus from happening, that’s a bad thing.

But Xi has adopted Putin’s tactic of being a Tsar/Chairman. The sins of the Empire are the fault of local officials, only. If only Xi knew what was going on, surely HE would have put a stop to it. Only through HIS benevolence is government waste and corruption even held in check. Hell, without Xi, coronavirus would be in your kitchen right now, eating your food and beating your family with a cricket bat.

So here’s to you Chairman! [breaks full bottle of baijiu over dirty peasant’s head; alcohol gets in eyes, which the face mask is completely ineffective at protecting; peasant screams in agony; fawning sycophants clap in rhythm]

Xi with mask

the spin cycle continues

I’ve probably been in that El Paso Walmart half a dozen times, but still: Kindly observe (again) another act of senseless evil by human scum(s).

Kindly observe (again) how said human scum(s) will now be given a platform by the shameless media to become famous and get their message out.

Kindly observe (again) how the political, business, entertainment, and/or educational elite express the same pointless platitudes without ever proposing any concrete solutions whatsoever thus ensuring its continuation for the next few decades at least.

Kindly observe (again) as the usual rhetorical bomb throwers use this event to justify whatever preconceived notions they have on religion, terrorism, guns, culture, and/or whatever and compete to see who can shout the loudest.

Kindly observe (again) as this spin cycle continues.

Kindly observe (again) that it will happen (again).

We recommend you do as I do, which is to not pay attention. For the average person on the street, it’s not even worth it anymore. You can’t change it, and you’ve got problems of your own to deal with each and every day as you live your life. This sort of thing is now as common as the changing of the seasons, and it’s not going to stop, so why bother expending your very valuable mental energy on it?

190805013435-14-el-paso-shooting-0804-exlarge-169.jpg

 

Version #37 of 83 – Circa 2019

16876480-7319897-image-a-19_1564937703238.jpg

 

Version #38 of 83 – Circa 2019

DNC’s master plan to reelect Trump makes headway, say sources

“We couldn’t be happier with the progress we’ve made, particularly in the last two nights,” said a smiling Democratic National Committee chair Tom Perez. “We’ve had a well-oiled, styled plan to get the job done and we’re doing just that.” Perez referred to the latest incarnation of the Democrat’s master scheme where the 47 viable presidential candidates spent the better part of a lauded CNN debate insulting each other over things they said when they were twelve. “The way we figure it, we want to leave a final candidate to face Trump who’s so battle scared, so discredited that they stand no change in the general election. It’s the way to get the job done,” Perez commented as he donned a MAGA hat, cackling, “lots of people talk about a circular firing squad, well, we’ve got that, only each candidate has a flamethrower!” Local Democrat activists seemed most pleased with the prospect of a second Trump term. “It just warms my heart to hear our front running candidates propose policies that are both simultaneously unaffordable, making the Trump tax cuts look tame, AND also sound like lunatic fringe ideas concocted in a Moscow salon that are toxic to 84% of American voters,” said Michelle Anderson of Soho, “my friends and I couldn’t be happier with how this has played out.” Perez ended his interview early as he was offhand informed by an aide (that this reporter overheard) that the planned candidate-on-candidate sexual assault (with racists remarks included) scheme was going according to plan. Perez seemed pleased, stroking his MAGA hat as if it were a white fluffy kitty.

07312019_debate_172559-1200x630

I think the Democrats want Trump to win

After the very lengthy hiatus I took with this blog I decided I would post far, far less about politics.  Mostly because I believe it’s futile, spoiler alert, we’re doomed.  But every once and a while I still will.

I’m only partially joking with the headline of this post.  There’s got to be a strategic argument that four more years of Trump would suit the Democrats just fine as Trump gets four more years to grind what’s left of his now soulless party into glass sand.

But seriously, here’s who stepped up to the plate for the Democrats for what should be the easiest election win since FDR won while World War II was still freaking happening:

– Two Western state governors who make John Kasich look charismatic

– The Bern, a man who I have second hand knowledge is “a complete idiot” and who will lose badly because he’s a hasbeen and he’s been outflanked by even wackier far left policies by his competitors

– An openly unapologetic opportunistic racist who if she had done what she had done as a Republican would be considered unfit for public office by the political and media establishment

– Not one, not two, not three, nor four, but FIVE completely bland faceless political lawyers likely unfit to run a coffee shop

– A ten year old boy on meth, who is also most recently a loser

– Five people barely worth mentioning but who will look great on the debate stage that has 17 podiums

– Two thirteen year old boys who also were mayors once, I guess

– Cory Booker and Kamala Harris, two reasonable people who might stand a chance if they weren’t both rushing to outcompete the field by who can spout more extreme, unrealistic, unaffordable policies that would make even Lenin or Jessie Jackson cringe

– Then there’s Joe.  I maintain my position that if Joe had run in 2016 he’d have beat Hilary and then crushed Trump.  But he was losing his son at the time and so I get it. 

Now Joe wants in.  I’m not entirely a big time Joe fan, Joe has massive problems.  But, when you compare him to the above listed competitors, Joe comes off as the only sane person in the room.

But wait, now Joe’s got himself wrapped up in the mass hysteria where if a man shakes a woman’s hand without asking permission first, I guess that’s sexual assault.  When did sexual assault become a disqualifying factor and problem for the Democrats, it never seemed to be before?  To me, until they cast Clinton to the woodshed, it’s all hypocrisy.

This is where I kind of truly believe my headline for this post.  If Joe runs, he beats Trump, it’s the easiest play ever.  But the Democrats are trying to kill his candidacy before it even begins.  Do they truly, actually want to lose?  Or are they just this stupid?  Or both?  Who knows.  Like I said, we’re doomed.

bidenpelosi1

Doomed.

 

 

 

why does the planet always have amnesia?

I’ll not be seeing Captain Marvel, I just don’t care.  I can’t remember the last Marvel movie I saw.  I think it was Guardians 2?  Was that the one where Kurt Russell dressed as a cult leader?  I barely remember.  I’m so over faceless superhero movies.

What’s the big deal with Captain Marvel?  That we finally get a big sci-fi movie with a female lead?  Why does the planet always have amnesia?  It must be a biproduct of only knowing what a tweet tells you to think.

Hey remember Weaver in Aliens and Hamilton in Terminator?  If you don’t, go watch these movies again.  If you haven’t seen these movies, shame on you.  These actresses and these movies are awesome.  These movies are like decades old by now.

Having not seen Captain Marvel (a movie written by a faceless boardroom of suits), I know Aliens and Terminator are superior.  And that Weaver and Hamilton are better actresses.  So, whatever Disney, who cares.

sci fi female

Damn I love those movies.  Maybe I’ll watch them again and review them for this degenerate blog?  Nobody wants this, so we’ll probably do it.

we’re back, or not, we’re not sure

We’ve been quite quiet lately as we:

a) recover from the most stressful, exhausting work experience ever in life and decide what that means to self

b) move halfway across the planet

c) contemplate the meaning of why squirrels cannot wield edged weapons in defense of their stash against other squirrels

d) do we want to even continue this blog

e) elves

f) why Tommy Brady remains the most insufferable human being since Freud

The answer to all (specifically (d)) is, we’re not sure.  I mean, I know what my Guests want, but the phone book supply for the whole planet has run out.  So they’ve lost their major playing card.

The truth is, I’m just not sure what to do with this blog at this point.  If you blog long enough, you realize the departure rate for blog authors is probably north of 95% within five years.  And we’re about at that point.  Folks just seem to eventually reach the point they move on in their lives.

Maybe we’re there, maybe not.  Not sure.  But for the six or seven or thirty degenerates who regularly read this lunacy, that’s where we’ve been.

If we close up shop for good, we’ll tell you so you can mourn not one second afterwards.  Or, we’ll get back into the action.  Either way.