Category Archives: Politics

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random thoughts of the day

1) I’m on extended travel, and for the first time in my life (I’ve stayed in hundreds of hotels) I bailed. I didn’t expect five star anything, the price was the point. But when the room is clearly not cleaned and bugs greet you at the room door, it’s time to bail. The poor clerk up front totally understood, I guess this happens a lot. She did everything right, and then told me to complain to the company. As in, not her boss, who it’s quite clear doesn’t care. She probably hates going to work. I can sympathize. The problem is I’m well compensated for my day job misery, whereas she is not. Be kind to service workers, in 98% of the case they make less than you and suffer for the privilege.

2) Muhammad bin Salman is proving to the planet that money matters. And he has a lot of it. So he can buy out crass golfers, get Biden to grovel, and now is doing the same to a recently legislatively impotent Macron. This guy didn’t just murder a man, he had him dismembered and melted in acid. He’s a monster. Yet he knows the same thing that Putin knows, that Xi knows, which is that significant portions of the West are for sale. You just have to pay the right price. I was in Boston yesterday and they had a Miller Lite ad at street level with one of the LIV sell outs. A person had scrawled in sharpie next to his face “Saudi Blood Money”. Yep.

3) Speaking of selling out, Brittney Griner will eventually get home, because the Biden administration did what the West does. They caved to most of Russia’s demands. Only on Ukraine does the West show strength against a country that has a GDP close to Spain’s (one of 27 EU nations). And Vlad is just buying time until he hopes the alliance cracks (see Italy’s upcoming election). But to me the question becomes, why was Griner in Russia anyways? Easy: $. It’s why golfers play for LIV. I’m just gonna go ahead and say this, if you’re an athlete or business person, or even just a tourist: If you go to Russia, or China, or about a half dozen other places on the planet and they put you in jail as a political playing card? You deserve it. You asked for it. Don’t go to these places and then be shocked that you have no rights, your own government has very little power to help you, and the leaders of these nations spend human lives like currency. Just don’t go to them, it’s rather simple.

4) I’m traveling for the first time in years and it’s been great. I’m seeing so many sights, driving around, sometimes planned, other times random. It feels great. I missed it, more than I remembered. Get out there and make it happen. Explore, see neat things, talk to interesting people, live life.

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your Python wisdom for the day

The older I get the more I enjoy Monty Python in any form.  I guess that says something about the kind of person I’ve become.  Here was a quote from a Season 3 episode I saw last night which generated wry laughter from my brain:

We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians are represented in this programme.  It was never our intention to imply that politicians are weak-kneed political time-servers who are more concerned with their personal vendettas and private power struggles than the problems of government, nor to suggest at any point that they sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent, nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies without an ounce of concern for the vital social problems of today.  Nor indeed do we intend that viewers should consider them as crabby ulcerous little self seeking vermin with furry legs and an excessive addition to alcohol and certain explicit sexual practices which some people might find offensive.

This was from 1972.  That means [tries to count years on fingers and toes; fails; reverts to pen and paper; realizes how garbage my math skills remain] this was from 50 years ago.  Not much has changed.  I wonder if it’s essentially always been like that without exception.  It’s a wonder we haven’t blown up the planet yet.  We somehow have always managed to muddle through.  That’s kind of neat.  Because we live here.

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extremism in the ranks

This seems like a perfectly calm, uncontroversial topic to write about.  Nobody’s got strong feelings about this one at all.  But I guess I’ll offer some thoughts / causes for how we got from there to here:

– So a talking point today is a right leaning Supreme Court is acting against the will of the people.  Hmm, I don’t remember that talking point being the same when the court voted to legalize gay marriage, or uphold Obamacare.  You see this is the problem when too much of national power is ceded to & handled by nine ordinary, average, flawed human beings.  They have a lot of power, but only because as the Judicial Branch of government they literally cannot stop functioning.  They cannot gridlock like the Legislature or rule incompetently like the Executive since oh say about the year 2000.

– Ideally, Congress should pass legislation that lays out the left and right limits on abortion.  In fact, as we pointed out a few weeks ago about gun control (by the way, that they got a gun bill passed shocked me; but I suspect it won’t do all that much in the end), as they hold the keys to both Houses and the Presidency, the Democrats could pass a pro-choice law tomorrow, yes tomorrow.  They just need to drop the filibuster, which they won’t, because they need to keep their Senate seats in West Virginia and Arizona.  So again, who’s house should people be protesting in front of?  Not the Supreme Court justices, but rather Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema.  But again, they won’t, because political power comes first.

– Trump’s chance at winning the primary, if not the election as a whole, just went up about 736%.  The right’s talking point for so many years was, we hate this guy and/or know he’s a nut, but if he delivers we’ll hold our noses and vote for him.  And in the end, Trump delivered on something fifty years in the making.  People want results, whatever their side of the argument is, and people will vote for evil demagogues or nutcases, as long as they deliver.  History shows it, time and time again.

– Conversely, for the Democrats how should they feel?  Trump is gone, they own both Houses and the Presidency, and this happens?  The complaint on the Republican side for many years was, we vote these guys (GW Bush, Romney) and then they don’t deliver.  So they picked Trump instead.  Don’t be surprised if Bernie milks this for all it’s worth, or Warren, or any other nutcase of the left to mirror Trump.  The Democrat primary will be out for blood, don’t be surprised if they pick their own Trump equivalent who makes only one singular promise, that they’ll deliver.

– Mitch McConnell would have made a great Roman Senator in the days when political differences were often solved with assassinations.  His kneecap of Merrick Garland was wrong, ungentlemanly, against history, and ruthlessly effective.  Conversely, the failure of Chuck Schumer to accomplish similar results basically shows him to be the total loser his day-to-day personality portrays.

– The overturn of abortion theoretically should have happened in the 1990’s.  One should remember two simple points:  Anthony Kennedy was appointed by Reagan.  David Souter was appointed by HW Bush.  Both these guys became part of the left side of the court.  If Reagan and HW Bush had chosen judges to the right side of the court, this conversation would be nearly three decades old by this point.

– Remember Ruth Bader Ginsburg?  She could have retired under Obama and lived out her years earing six figure speeches.  She died in office under Trump.  I suspect a lot of the hero cult and Notorious RGB and other such nonsense did nobody on the left any favors.  I live in an American city (which means it leans left) and I still see her face on car bumpers or bubbleheads in stores.  But, to serve the causes she believed in, and those her hero worshipers supported, she should have retired.  Making a cult of an ordinary, average, flawed human being has consequences.

– Almost every European nation has more restrictive abortion laws than America.  For example, in Sweden it’s entirely legal up to the 18th week.  The Mississippi law stated it was the 15th week.  But if they believe the left talking points, this meant Mississippi’s law was a source of evil.  So are Sweden (or Spain, 14 weeks) also dens of evil?  There was room for the left to compromise, to admit that abortion could exist, but within certain limits.  Polls show the vast, vast majority of Americans would approve of abortion under these more restrictive circumstances.  But the left assumed the most extreme, unmovable position, and now it’s cost them everything.

– Expect that abortion by proxy will become commonplace.  People will be angry enough to put their money where their mouths are.  Companies will get in on the game too, for example, Amazon already has.  What’s it cost to fly a woman from Mississippi to Illinois, plus cab fare, plus the abortion fee?  I’m guessing less than $500?  Who knows.  The point is it’ll happen.

– I’ve got two family vacations coming up.  I hope the family doesn’t want to talk about politics, but they will.  Politics is everywhere now.  It’s hiding beneath your bed.  Politics knows if you’ve been bad or good.  It knows when you’re awake.  But the truth is, 99.9% of Americans can do precisely, absolutely nothing about what just happened.  I have a hard enough time getting through many days, just to survive the day and not go nuts, than to worry about something I can’t control.  This blog post is essentially irrelevant, it doesn’t actually matter or mean anything.  For the 99.9% who are powerless to impact abortion policy, all their extreme talk (on one side or the other) is equally irrelevant.

– We’re all doomed.

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replace politicians with dolphins

It’s primary election season in my county and thus the incessant political text messages and spam phone calls have begun from lackeys trying to get out the vote for their guy/gal.  Can’t these idiots read a vote register?  I’m not even eligible to vote in primaries.

But I guess politicians are now so classless that they have no shame in being straight spam calls.  The one that happened last night I answered without looking, hung up on the lady, and then afterwards realized the phone had marked the call “Spam Risk” to begin with.  I started cracking up, even the phone company holds these fools in contempt.

Let’s replace all pathetic politicians with dolphins.  What’s that they’ll say?  Dolphins can’t talk, read, or write?  Whaaat, is everyone now a marine biologist?  97% of Congress can’t talk, read, or write at a ten year old level anyways.

Dolphins:

1) Are cute, happy, and can do tricks

2) Are incapable of being bought or becoming corrupt

3) Can’t be haughty or hold the peasants in contempt

4) Not capable of passing 3,726 page laws that only make things worse

5) Are incapable of making spam phone calls due to lack of phone ownership or thumbs

6) Can’t jump on Twitter to lie or spread hatred in pursuit of political gain

7) Will work together with other dolphins to solve problems as a group

8) Can be trained to act as a third column navy to destroy Russian Black Sea Fleet

9) Giant fish tanks on Congress floor will make CSPAN actually watchable

10) Dolphins will pass legislation through series of whines and clicks; interpretation of what these sounds mean will guide how laws are passed; interpretation will be done on an annual basis by ten randomly selected Americans who can only serve one time; Congressional efficiency will increase 1,437%

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will Boris get the hook today?

Let’s face it, politicians are the kind of people who if you let them walk your dog, you deserve to be arrested for animal cruelty.  So the idea that Boris and his chums hosted a drunken bash while the rest of Britain was locked down doesn’t really surprise me.  Argentina’s president did the same thing.  So did dozens upon dozens of USA politicians.

As we’ll remind the six people + one cow + one squirrel who are regular readers of this degenerate blog, people who get into modern politics are not normal people.  They can’t possibly be so.  In this era of by the second mass hysteria where everything they say and do is picked apart, one way or the other, no normal person would subject themselves to this and/or if they did they would be changed forever and not in a good way.

This then leads to desensitization.  If 48% of the populace hates you no matter what you do, and 48% will love you regardless, then all of a sudden you feel like you can get away with just about anything.  Plus almost all modern politicians are already rich millionaires.  So you got the arrogant, entitled rich personality trait tacked onto it too.

The days where Washington was expected to furnish the presidential mansion on his own dime, or where Jefferson answered the White House door himself, or where Grant would just randomly walk around DC, alone, because he felt like it are long gone.  Politicians do not live or exist in the same world we do.  Which is why scandal haunts them, they’re generally hypocrites, and allow themselves to indulge in standards that would get us normal people put in jail.  But since they all want to stay in the club, they protect each other, politicians surely look out for their own.

This is why Boris probably won’t get the hook today.  For you see, the people judging his fate are not normal people like you or I (PS I am not normal).  His judges are politicians who are just like him.  And by their own standards, this is just another Monday.  The rules do not apply to them.  And it could be their turn during the next scandal.  So it’s best to protect their own.  Plus Boris might still have some electoral magic left in him, and political power talks.

So I say let Boris shine them on.  It doesn’t matter.  He should show up and start swigging directly from a bottle of Pimm’s.  And drunkenly slur his speech, “What?  Whaaatttrrreee you looking at?!!!”  Go for it Boris, go for the gold standard!

But who knows, maybe he does get the hook? We’ll see.

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who to shout to?

For some reason we feel compelled to weigh in on topics throughout the years even though we know nothing will change.  Tis the reality of the times we live in, where government and society are kind of on hold while people shout at each other instead of listening.

By who to shout to?  Let’s take the current gun control talking points and recycle them.  To the point that Beto O’Rourke has to shout at people like a child in a public meeting, instead of, you know, listening.  Oh, Beto, let’s do some basic government analysis / math here:

– House of Representative: 220 Democrats & 208 Republicans

– Senate: 50 Republicans, 48 Democrats, 2 Independents (who are Democrats in reality) w/ tying vote going to the Vice President

– President Joe Biden

In other words, Democrats control the legislative process.  Ah, but you say, the filibuster prevents progress of any legislation in the Senate.  Okay, fair enough.  But who owns that?  Joe Machin and Kyrsten Sinema.  So, um, uh, shouldn’t every gun control advocate on the planet be shouting at those two people, instead of the NRA?  Like, really, really shouting at them?  Or barricading their homes with protestors and throwing red paint on their four figure suits?  No, they won’t.  Why?  Because it’s not about gun control, it’s about political power.  And Machin and Sinema are from swing states the Democrats can’t afford to lose.

The Republicans were similarly jammed at many times in the last two decades when they had the White House plus both chambers and couldn’t move shit for legislation either.  Both parties have their eye on the long game of power politics, not specific individual issues.  So as with most things, get used to it.  Nothing’s going to change.  We’ll see another mass shooting soon.

man shouts at the incoming tide, with equal effect

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dogs and cats make boring political statements

So the White House now has a cat. Because there’s nothing else going on in the world right now that should otherwise attract the attention of our nation’s leaders. But I guess it doesn’t matter. I bet the White House staff is so bloated there must be at least three people tasked with just taking care of the pet. After all, can’t have kitty’s litter box smell getting into the state dining room.

Dogs and cats are great, for us. Not for political theater. It shows unseriousness. Modern politicians are not normal people. If they were, they wouldn’t be in politics. So the idea that they are all somehow just like us little folk is kind of amusing and insulting.

If you want pets in a position of power, let’s get insane:

– Lion: This classic fear based weapon on a chain next to the Resolute desk is a bit predictable but who cares, it’s a freaking lion

– Komodo dragon: Lost among the people’s fascination with this unique creature is just how vicious they are, they can be placed in the lap of unruly cabinet secretaries

– Sloth: Yes, sloths, are slothy, but they’re also surly assholes, they can hang from the rafters both inside and outside the White House and stare at people like they can see into their souls

– Panda: What better way to shine on America’s global competitor than to have a White House mascot that American commandos stole from the Beijing zoo

– Aquarium: A leader’s office isn’t complete without a big aquarium full of lots of fish, some of which eat the other fish, the tropes and stereotypes that could be uttered to visiting dignitaries are immeasurable

– Alligator & Crocodile: What’s the difference between these two? I’m 40 and I still have no idea, best to get both inside the building just to be safe

– Bald Eagle: Because, of course, it could sit on a perch next to the Resolute desk and Biden could feed it raw meat during his meeting with the Deputy Undersecretary of Machine Tools at Union #438

– Mosquitos: Put them in the broom closet (there’s got to be one even in the White House) and any staff member who accidentally breaks a plate has to stand in there for 15 minutes

– Alien: Actually clone the alien from Alien, and he can greet guests at the door and pose with them for selifes, American commandos will have to be on hand to put down anybody who gets the face hugger

– Grizzly Bear: Teddy Roosevelt would approve, bear can take over the South Lawn, he would forever have a higher approval rating than any White House occupant

Aww, just look at the cute kitty! He even has a ball too! Wow, our political leaders are just like us too! They love pets just like we do! Wow! There isn’t a chance in hell that they’ll ever constantly fail us all and think we’re all shit eating peasants!

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Uncle Xi promises “credible, loveable and respectable” future & “bears and fluffy bunnies”

In a three hour and 34 minute huggable tirade, fueled by esoteric party speak mixed with Xi Thought, Xi Jinping, Ordinary Average Chinese Citizen, Football Lover, Journeyman Bridge Player, & Secret The Walking Dead Aficionado appeared to chart a new path in China’s diplomatic demeanor, according to various news services. Xi promised a “credible, loveable and respectable China.”

Xi’s comments perhaps herald a change in China’s diplomatic verbiage which in the past few years has increasingly focused upon a so called “Wolf Warrior” style of interaction with the world. A current example being China’s ambassador to Britain, Liu Xiaoming, calmly, and professionally admonishing critics of China’s handling of covid-19 by promising to “slit the throats of the haters in their sleep; then we steal their family heirloom silverware.”

Xi’s comments might perplex the practitioners of the Wolf Warrior style. Said another anonymous Chinese official, “Look, Wolf Warrior might be a B grade action movie for teenage boys who can’t get a hard-on (Editor’s Note: And will struggle to find a Chinese bride due to gender ratios), but so was Delta Force. In my mind Reagan was always dual wielding a pair of Uzi’s as he defeated the Soviet Union. What we’ve always prayed for is Xi dual wielding a pair of Type 82 machine pistols and tearing through Hong Kong’s financial district like Chuck Norris does in Beirut. After all, Chairman Xi never sleeps, he waits. I truly hope our beloved Chairman isn’t depriving us of this right, this blessed dream.”

Xi also vowed in his speech to make available to the world’s population more “bears and fluffy bunnies”. Zoo enthusiasts were delighted, hoping this meant that additional Chinese pandas would be made available worldwide where they are the darlings of children at any zoo and top billing for any live streaming webcam.

Pundits however contended that Xi might have meant “bears” as in everybody’s favorite lovable honey thieving scamp, Winnie the Pooh. Many wondered if Xi would make an attempt to nationalize his namesake for an internal audience. Children’s movie critics everywhere were fearful of the impacts of Disney’s upcoming 2021 film, Winnie the Pooh: The New Musical Adaptation.

“Let’s face it,” said one children’s book author, “China hasn’t really been a fan of intellectual property anyways, so they’ll take what they want, and Disney won’t complain because they essentially work for China. Hell, Disney will probably even apologize to Xi for having had to make him illegally appropriate Winnie in the first place. They’ll pay him back royalties or something.”

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words do in fact matter

A common theme on this degenerate blog for the past four years has been not what Trump does, but what covering Trump has done to the media. Trump has always had a clock running, and now it expires in two weeks. But those who cover him will still be here. And Trump has driven them insane. They’ve mortgaged their credibility to get one man, one guy, who’s soon to be gone.

The last few days the word “coup” has appeared in just about every publication I read. The idea is that Trump will attempt a coup in the next two weeks to stay in office. Do these folks really understand what they’re writing? Words do in fact matter.

According to my bookcase dictionary, a coup is:

“a sudden, violent, and illegal seizure of power from a government”

Note the word: violent.

So when somebody writes coup, to me that means they think Trump is going to put the 82nd Airborne Division on the DC streets within the next two weeks and have them shoot people in the face. Really? Do they really, actually believe that? Because if they do, they’re literally bat shit crazy, insane.

Or, they’re using an explosive, irresponsible word to describe the back and forth of politics in our current toxic political climate. A political climate that isn’t going to get any better just because Biden drops his suitcase onto the White House bedroom floor.

They even got a bunch of former Defense Secretaries (most of whom are total losers) to sign a letter asking Trump not to do this “coup” thing. Do all these former Defense Secretaries think so little of the armed forces that they once led, that America’s armed forces are idiotic automatons who will do whatever Trump says without regard to their oath and honor? I guess the answer is yes. I guess?

Gee wiz, I wonder what’s going to happen to all these people when Trump’s gone and they have to live in the real world again. And not a world where they have a crayon drawing of Trump on the bathroom wall where he has devil horns they drew. I think they’ll have like a withdrawal, like they’re coming off some drug. Getting hooked on meth would have been wiser the last four years.

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post election musings

– Apparently the highest percentage of the population in over a century voted in this election.  Still, it’ll likely come down to what 8K people in one State say.  Because the Electoral College is like having three of the 10,432 houses within 1 mile of yours get to decide where your dog can go to the bathroom.

– I never thought the Founding Fathers were infallible, despite knowing they built the best concrete to stand a nation atop ever.  However, the Electoral College and lifetime appointments for Supreme Court are among the more glaring dummy errors.  Anybody having a lifetime appointment to any government position is antidemocratic and has never really fulfilled the original purpose of keeping justices impartial.  The Electoral College was built for the days when only like 13% of the population was even eligible to vote.

– Good luck fixing either of these two obvious problems.  Changing the Constitution in today’s political environment?  Essentially, truly, impossible.  Anybody who says otherwise is promoting a pipe dream and needs to move to Oregon (see below).  You might as well fire a handgun into the ocean hoping to, “Take revenge upon all Fish for the crimes they’ve committed against humanity for the last 5K years.”

– The rest of Earth can still kiss my ass.  Oh, the Electoral College is dumb and America should fix it?  Kiss my ass.  Let anybody try and explain to you how Proportional Representation works in Parliamentary Democracies.  You’ll need a lot of beer, and the ability to laugh and mock at will.  Trust me.

– Think what you will about Trump, but the Democrats have only themselves to thank that he even exists.  They spent the last two elections putting up a pair of total losers who’d been in politics for the last 47 years and had zero real policies to offer.  When your only selling point to the voting populace is, “At least I’m not that guy”, then don’t be surprised when you can’t hook the average voter.

– Because of the above, and because the Senate and House remain divided, even if Biden wins expect him to accomplish absolutely nothing of actual value in the next four years.  Remember, America has a politics problem that goes well beyond what folks do or do not think about Trump.  These problems aren’t going to get solved, I’m so very sorry.

– People can now get fucked up on hard drugs in Oregon now.  Good for them.  I wish this rule applied everywhere.  Unfortunately we’ll still have to let America’s streets get torn up by a century of failed drug war policy before it’s all legalized in 2084.

– The tech freaks got their wish and California (the greatest bastion of hypocritical false values on Earth) voted to let the likes of Uber, Lyft, etc continue to treat their employees as non-union indentured slave labor.  Because nothing say big tech cares about you and the human race like dropping a cool $200M+ on lobbying cash to let a Paraguayan immigrant earn $3 an hour ferrying drunken tech bros back from their post IPO launch at the Ritz.

– Do you know who won your mayoral election (if applicable)?  Or even who your mayor is?  You should, they have 741% more influence on your life than the Prez does.

– Bad news, the TAP’s national ballot initiative to “Liquidate All Humanity, Cable News Employees/Networks, Flower Greenhouses, & Strip Mall Properties to the Sub-Atomic Level” was rejected in 49 States before even getting on the ballot.  It was then defeated by a 98% to 1% to 1% margin in Rhone Island where the remaining 1% was nothing but people writing, “What the hell is this nonsense?  Who the hell wrote this crazy, stupid shit?”