Guess what, the planet doesn’t care. Hey, here ya go. Enjoy a Category 4 hurricane. Have fun, losers! Signed, your best friend, Earth.
Monthly Archives: August 2020
Vlad the Untouchable
Alexei Navalny will hopefully live. And even more hopefully not have permanent damage to his body. But who know what rabid poison they flushed into him.
I may not have always seen eye-to-eye with some of Navalny’s ideas, but you can’t argue the courage of a guy who’s gone face-to-face with one of the world’s most dangerous men for years.
Let’s face it, Putin is untouchable. Vlad could stroll into a senior citizen’s bingo hall wearing a $10K custom made three piece suit, dual-wielding a pair of Yugoslavian machine pistols, shoot everybody in the room, and still get away with it.
So if you’re the doctors in Omsk, how awkward is this for you? Do you save the guy’s life? Of course. Do you now have to look over your shoulder for as long as you or Vlad lives? You bet.
On a separate note, execution methodology says a lot about how cultures work in today’s modern society. For example:
Russia – poison in public without trial
North Korea – antiaircraft gun in public with show trial
China – needle or gunshot in secret with or without trial
Saudi Arabia – beheading in public with trial
USA – needle with trial, seconds after Supreme Court refuses to intervene
Iran – hanging in secret, with or without trail
“Welcome my friend, welcome, please sit. Some tea?”
“Uh no, no Vlad, I’m good. Ah, thanks though, bro. Appreciate the offer.”
[Vlad smirks, knows you’re drinking the tea one way or another]
retire “hump day”, or else
We’re back! After an unexplained 477 week absence. Did you miss us? No? Oh, ah, uh, hmm, we thought folks missed us. [cricket, cricket, cricket]
So we’re back to talk about what massive important topic to the human race? Global pandemic? Locust swarms? The shortage of effective keys and locks? No! But rather, the continual use of the term “hump day” at work. Oh my! The horror.
1) This joke was mildly amusing when the Geico goons put this out nine years ago. I say mildly, as in something you’d chuckle about once and then wish to forget forever. But folks kept saying it again and again in the camel voice. It won’t die. Why? Why won’t this die?
2) Why do folks carry on and spout jokes written by a boardroom of faceless suits? Geico is famous for this. They’re not jokes folks. They’re made to separate money from people. If you want to inject humor into the workplace, please use something not written by the Giant Octopus.
3) The term Hump Day has Jumped the Shark.
4) Saying even anything remotely sexual in the workplace now gets you drawn and quartered by the Stazi. The word “hump” is associated with sexual behavior. We must retire its use in the workplace otherwise the office will be burned to the grown by Antifa.
5) The camel actor in the original Geico commercial was euthanized over five years ago. His Kuwaiti owners didn’t want to pay for his anti-biotics. I’m sorry. I’m so very, very sorry.
6) The concept of Hump Day is that the week is half over and it can only go happily calmer or get better from there until the joy of the weekend arrives. This theory is shit. Everyone knows at 1pm on Friday you’ll get that fucking phone call that makes you want to quit your job that very instant.
7) Elves are responsible for your decreased workplace satisfaction. I know this to be fact. The sources My Guests possess are unimaginable and infallible.
8) Enjoy your day!
everybody’s wood shed day comes eventually
The Arcturus Project 