We’re back! After an unexplained 477 week absence. Did you miss us? No? Oh, ah, uh, hmm, we thought folks missed us. [cricket, cricket, cricket]
So we’re back to talk about what massive important topic to the human race? Global pandemic? Locust swarms? The shortage of effective keys and locks? No! But rather, the continual use of the term “hump day” at work. Oh my! The horror.
1) This joke was mildly amusing when the Geico goons put this out nine years ago. I say mildly, as in something you’d chuckle about once and then wish to forget forever. But folks kept saying it again and again in the camel voice. It won’t die. Why? Why won’t this die?
2) Why do folks carry on and spout jokes written by a boardroom of faceless suits? Geico is famous for this. They’re not jokes folks. They’re made to separate money from people. If you want to inject humor into the workplace, please use something not written by the Giant Octopus.
3) The term Hump Day has Jumped the Shark.
4) Saying even anything remotely sexual in the workplace now gets you drawn and quartered by the Stazi. The word “hump” is associated with sexual behavior. We must retire its use in the workplace otherwise the office will be burned to the grown by Antifa.
5) The camel actor in the original Geico commercial was euthanized over five years ago. His Kuwaiti owners didn’t want to pay for his anti-biotics. I’m sorry. I’m so very, very sorry.
6) The concept of Hump Day is that the week is half over and it can only go happily calmer or get better from there until the joy of the weekend arrives. This theory is shit. Everyone knows at 1pm on Friday you’ll get that fucking phone call that makes you want to quit your job that very instant.
7) Elves are responsible for your decreased workplace satisfaction. I know this to be fact. The sources My Guests possess are unimaginable and infallible.
8) Enjoy your day!
everybody’s wood shed day comes eventually