– Grocery store increases price by 23% in one year because [insert crisis here] and not because [they just want more of your money]

– Economic stats are that inflation is still rising at abnormal levels for years because [insert crisis here] when [government financial guys don’t what they’re doing]

– You notice the squirrel on your property has not managed to find as many nuts as usual and you get in his face, his response is because [insert crisis here] and he promises to do better [you never see him again]

– Any of the planet’s current dozen vicious wars are due to [insert crisis here] and not that the planet does not care because of [insert any public relations talking point here]

– Random business says their quarterly profits are down because [insert crisis here] and honest, just honest, they’ll do something like a share buyback to make sure everyone’s good after said crisis is over [will, never, ever, happen]

– The entire posse from those Frozen movies say their billion dollar profit kiddy happy films mean they’ll not be available with another film for seven more years because [insert crisis here] and then they fuck off to a horror movie cabin and get wasted [one of them will die]

– Some entity still claims their failures are due to the pandemic compounded by [insert crisis here] and that they’ll get back to it when [insert any lie here]

– A giraffe shows up at your front door at 3am and says it needs you to plant a tree on your front lawn so it can eat and not die because [insert crisis here] but when you point out that trees take years to grow the giraffe just laughs and says he knows that and he just wanted you to open the door [giraffe pulls firearm and robs your entire residence of everything of value]

– After what is probably like a decade of posting, a blog author still feels the need to post because [insert crisis here] and knows it’s also insane but does it anyways because fun, equals [insert any mental health talking point here]