Eh, I guess we’ll talk about cars again. We’ve covered just about every other topic on this degenerate blog over the many, growing years. I’ve noticed a growing trend. Or perhaps my patience has become more exhausted, by the reality of people having the most expensive of cars, and driving them like they’re a 1984 Honda Accord held together by duct tape.

My car is a pile of junk. It’s missing hubcaps (damn you Toyota for not fixing this decade long known problem), the left side rear view mirror requires replacement. I have battery problems that nobody seems to know how to fix. But you better believe when I get on the road my ass is moving. Part of this is my personality. I’m the asshole at work who wants to take steps two at at time just to get it over with.

But also, an additional point of my personality is cars are point a to point b endeavor. Get it over with. I sure do love listening to sports radio in the car. But do you know what I like even more than sports radio? Not being in the car to begin with. So I vastly exceed the posted speed limit on every occasion offered. It’s a wonder on my bank account over say the last decade, have I given more money to local municipalities for traffic camera speed violations or to Catholic Charities? I’d be scared to look.

But then you get the folks in the real go getter cars. The ones that are four or five times more expensive than mine, with the fancy engines, and probably with the leather seats, and the computer screen that’s bigger than the tv I took to college. And they drive like they’re 87 years old and blind, in the left lane, as slow as they can be. I’ve noticed the worst offenders lately are those driving Teslas. Like they’re afraid to hurt their environmental statement baby.

Gee wiz, what’s the point of having a fast car if you drive it like a golf cart? You might as well buy my clunker. Put the pedal down and get your monies worth. Some out of work liberal arts major has gotta do more human thought process experiments about this, as to why these people shelve out all that money, and then never use the capability they bought. It’s like you buy a blender that’s so strong it can disintegrate granite. But you only use it to chop up bananas? Why?