According to Rotten Tomatoes, there’s such a thing as the “Over-50 Action Hero genre”. Who knew?

I guess Sly started it, but he’s half chemicals anyways so I don’t think he counts.

Neeson probably really started it. Taken was a surprisingly fun ride. Taken 2 was straight average, and barely worth watching. I have no plans to see Taken 3.

So did Penn and Taken director Morel figure they could restart and cash in with a new Taken?

Just one problem, nobody likes Sean Penn. Whereas Neeson is generally a likeable guy.

I could have a beer with Neeson. I think I’d enjoy it quite a bit.

I think having a beer with Penn would be a rather excruciating experience. I’d have to ensure I ordered a can vice bottle. Holding a bottle would require spending the entire drink hearing a leprechaun chatting in my ear, “Break ‘is head. Break it on ‘is head! Ahahahaha!”

Here’s another issue. Take this shot from The Gunman:

Doesn’t he look exactly like Sly, the hair, the black tactical shirt, the chemical filled body?

Whereas here’s Neeson; except for the gun, he looks like he’s bound for the bookshop on a rainy day.

Wait a minute, likeable relatable characters make good movies?  Not a chance.  Special effects make good movies.  Just ask Michael Bay, arguably the most financially successful director of the last half-decade.

And after all, who wants to see an over-50 guy on screen holding a gun anyways?  Nothing classic has ever come from that.