Usually when you put a million people onto the streets of a nation’s capital, you have a goal in mind. You know, something is accomplished, things get done. Or you at least talk about how you’ll get to that finish line. But I’m really at a loss to understand today’s Paris march.

What’s the point of all this? Well, according to the BBC the march:

“The marchers wanted to demonstrate unity after the attacks on satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, police officers, and a kosher supermarket.”

Ah, unity is the goal. I see. Unity. Um, uh, … [cricket, cricket, cricket]

You know what this march is? I think it’s a giant hashtag.

One million people have taken to the streets in order to tweet #unity to the planet. But for what purpose other than that everybody feels better about themselves by dinner? Somebody, no I’m serious, somebody please tell me what a giant #unity march does except make people feel better?

What a waste. At the very least can’t they do something useful? Like anything concrete?

Any of the following proposed actions you might disagree with, but at least they get results. Examples of things that alter the course of humanity, positive or negative, are:

– At the march French politicians propose sweeping legislation to further integrate Muslims into French society and culture ala a quasi-Civil Rights style march and/or campaign

– In a sweeping act of brutal rage the mob burns down the entire Muslim quarter in Paris

– The mob swarms the city and feeds the homeless for one day

– Everybody proves they are indeed Charlie by making it a point to offend everybody at least once in a day; racism, sexism, all those darn isms run wild in a vicious act of mass hatred thus getting it out of our collective human systems for about three weeks

– In a sweeping act of brutal rage the mob burns down all French government buildings thus actually improving French governance for at least two decades

– The mob agrees to enlist en masse into a new French Volunteer Freedom Army by the hundreds-of-thousands to fight ISIS and Boko Haram and kill them to the last and free millions from brutal tyranny

– Everybody descends onto local establishments in an unbridled act of shopping, eating, and drinking in order to boost the local economy and enjoy themselves in a manner befitting the last day of humanity before the comet strikes

#irrelevance