Category Archives: Leadership

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lack of ability to dual wield leads to vicious cherry tree club beating

I’m going to try and not get too into this.  As I’ve previously written, both Clinton(s) and Bush(es) need to go away.  For the sake of democracy.  But I just can’t let this one go.

First off, why did this presser occur at the UN, like, the United Nations.  Really?  Why is she giving a presidential campaign political speech from the UN?  Is the UN going to endorse her campaign?  Did she have a meeting with the ambassador from Brunei she couldn’t reschedule?  It’s just so very weird.

Second, so she bought her own creepy private server to conduct official government business because she didn’t want to carry two phones.  Really?  I want you to try that excuse the next time you get caught breaking federal law and see how long it takes the federal government to throw your ass in jail.

In very few cases is the disparity between modern America’s ruled and rulers so very clearly on display.  She doesn’t even care.  It’s like she daring anybody to call her out on it.  What are you going to do, go after her?  Sue her?  She has the finest lawyers money can buy.  And you don’t.  Me neither.  So I guess we’re screwed.

What’s next?  Is Bush(es) going to show he can actually carry two phones?  And then Clinton(s) will have to go on stage holding three phones?  Then Bush(es) goes out there with a belt full of phone holsters.  Then during the debate the both of them are wearing jackets made entirely of cell phones.  And then the ghost of George Washington comes rushing out from backstage and starts beating them both with an immaculate cherry tree club.  And the audience cheers.

"Hillary Rodham Clinton"

if I can dual wield a shot glass and beer can; she can carry two phones; otherwise she’s unqualified to lead

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Beijing – Forbidden City; a prison fit for an emperor

It’s good to be the king, right? But what if it’s not? Like, what if you just want out? Can you leave? Can you resign? Or if you try and quit, does your successor(s) have you beheaded and your bones burned? And if that be the case, do you just rule on in misery trapped inside your own opulence and false power?

In the end, I think it’s rather easy to see why so many emperors (across many different cultures) became focused only on booze, women, the pipe, or any other kind of worldly distraction. It helped them to forget they were essentially in prison their whole darn lives.

Palace of Heavenly Purity

Palace of Heavenly Purity

I think I’d have hated to live in the Forbidden City. I think if I’d have been emperor, that I’d have schemed to have the whole place burned down. But then the eunuchs would have had me assassinated.

All throughout our planet’s rich-sick history of dictatorial monarchies, you see this problem. Brothers and sisters lay waste to each other to grab power. Servants poison their bosses. Castle intrigue, lunacy, dead bodies, etc, etc, etc.

The Forbidden City puts these traits into overdrive because it’s just so damn big and probably had an operation and culture all its own. An aura completely removed from the Chinese Empire itself. As in:

Eunuch:

“Welcome new emperor. This is your home now. But we run the place. Please obey our rules. Or we’ll get rid of you and find someone else. Any questions?”

Some corollaries from the West might be the Pretorian Guard or Versailles. Except that I think The Forbidden City is Versailles and the Pretorian Guard all rolled into one. Gee, doesn’t that sound fun! If you pitched your tent next to an active volcano, that’d be a safer place to live.

Just take a gander at this joyful list of peace and harmony (pun intended):

poor bastard – cause of bleached skeleton; age of skeleton upon commencement of bleaching

Yongle Emperor – deep depression & illness; aged 64

Hongxi Emperor – heart attack (after trying to move out of The Forbidden City, hmm…); aged 46

Xuande Emperor – illness; aged 35

Zhengtong Emperor – suicide; aged 36

Jingtai Emperor – murdered by eunuchs; aged 28

Chenghua Emperor – who the fuck knows; aged 39

Need I go on?

Yes!

Hongzhi Emperor – who the fuck knows; aged 34

Zhengde Emperor – drunk boating accident; aged 29

Jiajing Emperor – mercury overdose; aged 59

Finally! Finally, here’s a dude who made it past 40. Ah, a trend we hope, right? Am I right folks?! [shifty eyes]

Longqing Emperor – who the fuck knows; aged 39

Fuck!

And after that there’s the Wanli Emperor; whose corpse we’ve already covered in a prior post. And on and on and on.

Acquiring the position of ‘Starving Lion Hand Feeder’ would have been a safer ride. Oh man, I think The Forbidden City’s got to be like the planet’s greatest haunted castle. You can’t take twelve steps without a dead emperor’s ghost hitting you up for a beer.

Well, at least it’s pretty to look at. I guess?

Imperial Garden

Imperial Garden – this was actually very pretty

Gate of Heavenly Peace

Gate of Heavenly Peace – still adorned (for whatever reason) by a portrait of history’s greatest serial killer

Hall of the People

Hall of the People in Tiananmen Square – although not actually a hall for the people

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definition of abuse

Obama’s giving a speech tonight, which apparently he wrote in 2011.  The Republicans will respond, with a speech they wrote in 2011.  30M people are expected to watch.  I have no idea why.  Why would anybody subject themselves to such abuse?  It’s like deliberately bashing your head into a brick wall until the goo comes out.  These idiots, they’re so useless.  We have zero leadership from any of them.  One side is holding America down while the other side hits us in the head with a brick.  And they’re both giggling.  Then they rotate and the other dude takes turns swinging the brick.  Eventually we’ll discover there isn’t any goo left to come out.

brick wall

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If you gotta go…

Cushing

Today President Obama presented the Medal of Honor to the family of Brevet Lieutenant Colonel Alonzo Cushing, hero of Gettysburg. I took this shot in 2012, from his gun position. If you can imagine 15 thousand gray coats from end-to-end, you get the idea.

I grew up reading about him, knowing his name. I have no idea why. Maybe his age, 22 years old, drew me? In a weird way, I’m not so sure about the medal though. His peers lived this war, who are we to overturn their decision? Alonzo’s brothers, William and Howard, also went early via the field of battle. It was a very different time then.

We don’t get to choose how we check out, and given the chance, Cushing and anyone else would have rather wanted to go home that day. But sometimes one’s life is the pain, suffering, and honor of a single afternoon. Sometimes we simply do what we were born to do. “Faithful unto Death” is on his tombstone.

Hopefully Cushing and his brothers are boozing it up in Valhalla to celebrate. Alongside all those they fought with and against. So that we could all be free tonight.