Usually after something bad happens, like a big explosion, people often ask, “What the hell were they thinking?”

In this case, “Wait, hold on, you mean they were using old Soviet rocket engines in that thing? What? Really?”

I had no idea. Did you?

Apparently, Orbital Sciences Corporation’s Antares rocket, which now decorates the Atlantic Shore in microscopic pieces, was powered by old, refurbished Soviet NH-33 engines. The NH-33s were built to launch the Soviet’s failed N1 rocket, the answer to America’s Saturn V.

Saturn V & N1

That’s just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Every, single, test of the N1 rocket ended in a titanic explosion. The N1’s second failed launch was one of the largest non-nuclear man-made blasts in history.

Engineering failures aren’t usually this fun to look at 

Without getting into the technical details, every aspect of the N1 rocket, particularly the engines, was wrong. When you go back and read up on how the Reds tried it, it’s like you’re hearing circus music playing inside your brain.

Guess what American folks, you paid for this lunacy. Orbital Sciences Corporation’s launch is taxpayer funded. And when rockets go up, they go big. Antares’ costs like $200M a pop. That’s enough gold to build your own London skyscraper. On the other hand, that’s also what the US government spends about every twelve minutes, so whatever.

Man, remember when we used to go long with space? We did the Saturn V dance like fifty years ago. Now we’re failing with fifth rate garbage engines built by some hack contractor who apparently possesses so little technical skill they use dead Soviets as their technical experts.

We have no vision anymore, no spirit. We’ll probably get back to the Moon or go to Mars in like 2090. And we’ll get there using steam locomotive parts robbed from the “Lil Pauley’s Traveling Historical Choo-Choo Train” exhibit in Manchester.

Go boldly? No. No, go cheap.

Even old Soviets face palm on this one