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Bask in the approved-mandated-directed future of young love

Are you one of the freaks out there looking for a pet cause? A piece of advice, if you’re choosing one that overturns a cultural tenant that has existed since the Dawn of Man, it’s best to use caution before you open your mouth.

The latest quest in the seemingly never-ending journey to enslave humanity comes from the ever-increasing Command & Control culture of Great Britain. The question on display is whether you require somebody’s active consent before you kiss them. No, I did not make this up. Behold, observe the total validity accorded to the nonsense at hand by a respected (increasingly less so) publication:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27831626

“I’ve been talking about this with friends recently and whether people should say, ‘Is it okay if I kiss you now?’ and actually I think it’s really sweet because what you’re saying is, ‘I don’t want to do something that would upset you’.”

So a cultural practice in place for (conservatively estimated) about five-thousand years is worthy of destruction because the politically-correct-machine-engineered-fear-hate crowd has determined that a harmless kiss is completely out of bounds if prior permission is not acquired for the attempt.

For the record, to the freaks who will likely accuse me of advocating physical or mind rape, I’m not proposing that a man who forces his lips upon any woman like a barbarian is worthy of a defense. That garbage has been out of bounds since before Troy. But what the above lunacy is saying is that it’s now a requirement in all situations. Just to be safe. Regardless of the circumstances.

Now we wouldn’t want the girl or boy (yes, it cuts both ways, does it not) to say no. Then you could get sued, accused of sexual assault, or run out of town on the rails by the local media as a sex offender. And thus, all passion, spontaneity, and joy are ground into dust by the lawyers, politicians, and social activists intent on controlling not just all our lives, but all of human behavior.

Do you think I’m ranting like a lunatic? Well, that’s true, but just you wait. They’re going to get what they want. Why? Because in today’s culture and society it seems whoever can shout the loudest wins. Outrage, real or imagined, is more important than common sense and the wisdom our culture has acquired over not completely destroying ourselves for thousands of years. 

What you know and accept as truth is wrong. They’ll tell you what’s right. If you disagree, you’ll have two options. Obey in silence. Get punished for your insolence. Your choice.

Don’t believe me, just view the documentary instructional video soon bound for consumption by your third grade child at all local elementary schools. It comes out during the 2029 school year. My guests provided me an advance copy via time travel (don’t ask). Enjoy!

[cue 1950’s instructional video introduction lively music; cut to man standing on a large, rectangular blacktop; he wears a nondescript black uniform; military in nature; he nods at information he reads from his black iPad]

Uniformed Man: Yes, yes, brilliant. [looks up] Oh, hello, I’m Grand Parade Ground Major Obey, and welcome to “The Boundaries of Love”. In this guidance you will acquire the skills necessary to achieve true young love! I hope you’re paying attention little ones, because soon you’ll be growing up, passing that special moment of your lives, and are thus directly accountable for your behavior. [wags spiny finger] And we all want to make sure we’re following the rules, eh? So let’s begin our voyage of discovery, shall we?

[cut to picture of middle school classroom]

GPGM Obey: [voiceover] Ah, the indoctrination environment. Knowledge, wisdom, guidance, and what, love? He, he, he, why yes of course. Let’s meet Little Johnny and Little Clarissa.

[typical young children; laughing behind their hands in class; the teacher not happy; very homely, comical, and genuine]

GPGM Obey: [voiceover] Now Little Johnny and Little Clarissa have known each other for years. Their government-approved-home-minders are good friends, and they see each other all the time on non-physical-work-appearance days. Naturally, as they’ve grown up, they’ve started to experience new feelings.

[cut to Little Johnny and Little Clarissa in the hallway; classes are beginning; but they remain as the hall empties out]

Little Johnny: You’re the best.

Little Clarissa: [giggles] You’re an idiot.

LJ: No really, I’m happy with you.

LC: [giggles]

[Little Johnny leans toward Little Clarissa, hesitantly, completely unsure of his actions]

LC: Wait, Johnny, but we haven’t discussed this. We have to talk first!

[Little Johnny pecks Little Clarissa lightly on the lips; both clearly enjoy the experience; the excitement and joy of young love; but Little Clarissa’s eyes are then filled with fear]

LC: Johnny! You didn’t get permission!

[the word “WRONG” appears in bold red watermark across the screen; cut to GPGM Obey on the blacktop]

GPGM Obey: Oh no, sorry Little Johnny, but your future secular-court-approved cohabitant has not authorized this kiss. So sorry that you didn’t pay attention in class.

[quick cut to scene of Little Johnny executed by a jackboot firing squad; the brutality is horrific as our pre-teen scamp is broken in half by a barrage of large caliber rifle rounds to the torso]

GPGM Obey: Huh, huh, huh, now I’m sure Little Johnny will think twice next time before he passes the boundaries of acceptable-social-conduct, eh? So, here’s how Little Johnny should have proceeded.

[cut to Little Johnny and Little Clarissa in the hallway, classes are beginning, but they remain as the hall empties out]

Little Johnny: You’re the best.

Little Clarissa: [giggles] You’re an idiot.

LJ: No really, I’m happy with you.

LC: [giggles]

LJ: I’d like your permission to kiss you.

LC: Oh. [clearly uncomfortable] Okay.

[Little Johnny pecks Little Clarissa on the lips; both clearly hate the experience; both their eyes are filled with terror; the experience devoid of all emotion and happiness]

LJ: Were you okay with that?

LC: Yes, I am okay with this event as it has occurred.

LJ: I enjoyed that.

LC: Yes, I feel validated by this experience.

LJ: I am glad we shared this moment.

LC: As am I. 

[cut to GPGM Obey on the blacktop]

GPGM Obey: Now wasn’t that so much better! Each individual clearly expressed their intentions, no ambiguity was present, and total order existed where it counted the most.

[cue 1950’s instructional video introduction lively music]

GPGM Obey: Well, little ones, that’s all the time we have for today. But remember, what you’ve learned today, always applies at all times. And don’t forget, if you’re not following the rules? We’ll know. Huh, huh, huh. 

[outro with GPGM Obey examining additional data from his iPad; cut to black]

young_love

This lovely picture, obtained via a simple Google search of the words “young love”, will soon be illegal if the individuals discussed above get their way

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This is what it looks like when history overcomes the actions of man

Sometimes what you do just doesn’t matter. Sometimes what whole countries do, or even the entire planet does, just doesn’t matter. Folks occasionally refer to this as the ‘great wheel’. History takes over or chaos reigns.

Because when people aren’t serious, lunacy gets to run wild. By any definition, Maliki, America, the UN, your next door neighbor, you, me, were not serious about Iraq. And so history got to work its magic. Enjoy it, we all own it.

At first I considered the possibility that Maliki was allowing ISIS to seize significant portions of Iraq so he could effectively divest himself of the majority Sunni lands. Then he could keep Baghdad, the majority Shiite lands, and build his own Shiite super state. What does he need the northwest for anyways? There’s hardly any oil, a bunch of Sunnis who he hates live there, and so on.

Yet today I’m confronted with the reality that Maliki isn’t playing a game. He’s actually completely powerless. The withdrawal or desertion of Iraqi forces is not part of a broader devious plan. They’re actually losing. Maliki does not have a functioning army under his command. How do I know this? Because the Kurds took Kirkuk today and didn’t fire a shot.

If you know anything about Iraq the last few years, it’s that if Iraq was going to descend into civil war, it was to be over Kirkuk. There’s oil there. And the autonomous Kurds and Baghdad were literally ready to trade tank rounds over it. One of the top three reasons everybody thought the Americans needed to stay was to ensure the Kurds and Shiites didn’t kill each other over Kirkuk. The Americans were the neutral party.

So if Maliki isn’t able to hold Kirkuk, he’s truly in trouble. Thus, observe one of history’s great lessons, once again on display. When you turn a reasonable standing army into a tribal militia where merit and training are replaced by religion and politics? Don’t be surprised when a battalion runs away from sixteen guys in four pickup trucks.

So what’s going to happen? ISIS isn’t going to seriously tangle with the Kurds because their forces are fairly good. Maliki is likely to hold Baghdad because ISIS just doesn’t have the firepower or manpower to overcome even the seriously degraded Iraqi Army. But the Shiites aren’t going to be able to retake the northwest, even if they wanted to.

So the Kurds will get their fully autonomous state in the north, with Kirkuk. Maliki will get his Shiite state in the southeast with Baghdad. And the Sunnis will get the northwest and be left to rot, under ISIS lunatics or anybody else who has enough guns to hold it.

So finally, after all these years, after all the war and death, after all the back room diplomacy, Iraq is finally divided into three parts.

In other words, every single action post 2003 is now a failure.

Who’s to blame? Well, I’ll probably write about that later. But don’t listen to idiots who are already telling you they had it figured out back in 2003 or 2005 or 2009 or 2011. It did not have to end this way even after it started or was changed. Folks who have an axe to grind are going to use this to push their politics, one side or the other. But in general, the answer for who’s to blame is:

Everybody

Everybody had a hand in this. So for right now, who cares? The question currently on offer is what’s to be done about this? I could answer that, but for right now, who cares? Why? Because the real answer is that the world’s going to do nothing. Nothing. Everybody’s going to watch Iraq burn. So since we’re going to do nothing, why even talk options. Let’s just sit back and observe the great wheel doing its thing. Enjoy it, the whole world owns it.

iraq

This man’s face and this scene have occurred in Iraq seventeen times since the dawn of man

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We fire coaches who are self-proclaimed losers

I don’t care that it starts tomorrow.  Fire him now.  When a coach states the team can’t win, he’s admitting he’s a loser.  What kind of coach tells a team they’re going to lose before the first game?  I don’t care how accurate a statement this is or is not.  You play one game at a time, to win.  We’ve previously articulated our thoughts on this man.  Sadly, it seems we’re proven right.  He should never have been hired.

US Men's National Team vs Brazil

The greatest loser of a German leader since Hitler’s torched skull

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There are violent exceptions to every rule

Sepp Blatter is worth more to the human race as fuel than as a breathing human being. So we should add him to the feed stock of his local power plant.

Now generally, such a belligerent statement is not productive. Who wants to promote the rapid disintegration of people? Well, my guests I suppose. But this is typically not a good idea. Yet there are exceptions, and in Sepp’s case, I’m willing to break all the rules to remove his form from our lives.

Sepp’s latest drunken boast is that those who oppose the selection of Qatar for 2022 are racist. No, really, this actually happened:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27762435

You have to at least admire how ridiculously carefree Sepp is. The dude’s been on the take for decades. Everybody knows he’s stolen as much cash as the world’s biggest kleptocrats. On his watch, soccer is among the world’s most consistently widespread corrupt sports. Why? Because when the guy in charge is lining his pockets and always getting away with it, well, why not you too?

But no, no, we’re not upset that Qatari cash bought 2022 despite the fact that the country is unfit to host. No, we’re all just racists. Oh, okay Sepp. I’ll be sure to remember that as I think about you sleeping in your palace tonight. Right before my guests rip you from your bed, throw you into the back of their Teledar, and fly you over to your local generating station for the aforementioned end stage of your existence.

But don’t worry, FIFA is personally investigating the claims that FIFA is corrupt. So you know the report is good. We’ll have this cleaned up before 2015. Truly.

I suppose it’s natural that we’d want to discuss what’s going on with 2018 and 2022 just as we’re about to begin 2014, but you have to wonder why Sepp wants to bring this up now? Uncle Vladimir and a bunch of oil barons bought the next two tournaments. But you can reasonably claim that Brazil earned 2014 fair and square. I think?

So my only conclusion is that Sepp is a lunatic. And he just does not care. He’s survived this long. He’ll be around for the next one too. So it’s Russia in 2018, Qatar in 2022, and Sepp Blatter in a gold laced, diamond encrusted casket one day. Either that, or the power plant option. Don’t sleep too deeply, Sepp. You never know.

sepp-blatter

How the fuck do I keep getting away with this shit? [hmm] Eh [shrugs], whatever, fuck it. [lights cigar with cash & orphan’s tears]

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Too much travel increases your desire to enslave the human race

When you’re hardly home at all, for months on end, you’re out of control. So we’ll get that control back. By taking away everybody else’s ability to control anything.

Home keeps us in check. We understand our surroundings and follow our routines. So when we can’t do that? It’s time to do everything we can to destroy everybody else’s routines.

Do you find this methodology confusing or bizarre? Well then, please e-mail me your contact information so we can place you at the top of our list.

We’re rather quiet lately as we’ve been on travel for work(s). For the last six months the ability to place the head on the same pillow for a complete week has not existed. It’s delightful to live out of a suitcase for weeks on end. It comes with the following delicious traits:

– Ponder all day what expensive dive you’ll eat at in the evening.

– Spend four dollars to wash your clothes in machines manufactured in Albania.

– Use towels that a lizard would discard as uncomfortable.

– Find new and inventive ways to hide your valuables from hotel staff or local degenerates who will cave in your rental car window, day or night.

– Consider homicide against your supervisor(s) who mercilessly task you with duties and responsibilities you are incapable of fulfilling while on the road.

So I’m going to solve all this with the assistance of my guests by using their brutal incoherent methods. We’ll twist the control back into my favor:

– Approach the local proprietor, demand food, refuse payment, and then throw rocks through his establishment’s windows.

– Drive to the hotel owner’s house, conduct laundry operations on site, and then break his or her appliances with a bat.

– While at said hotel overlord’s hovel, steal all towels.

– Leave expensive gold coins atop the rental car dashboard. When said local degenerates approach, fire marbles at them from a paintball marker.

– When back home, leave the airport, stop by the boss(es)’ house(s) and burn it to the ground. Dance giggling around the flaming building like a lunatic.

airport

“Good evening human scum. This is Captain Esh-Ala at the controls today. In accordance with the New Realm, please empty your valuables into the seat pocket. Depart the aircraft. Nobody is traveling anywhere, anymore. Please cooperate. We desire to keep liquidation to an absolute minimum.”

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We are thankful that others are starting to learn

We’ve written about this before.  You are commanded upon pain of torture to observe and join the cause.  Or just watch the video and let Oliver help you learn.  Either way.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/fpbOEoRrHyU?rel=0

john_oliver

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Nobody is capable of fixing this mess

We can get overly focused on the man in charge.  Yes, they’re the face of an organization and the one calling the shots.  But many times, a department’s performance is beyond the capabilities and judgment of one man.

The focus now shifts to who the new boss will be.  Well, I’ve got news for you folks, it’s irrelevant.  Whoever’s next, the result is the same.  If Eric Shinseki can’t fix the VA, nobody can.  You will never find a more experienced, mature leader guided by such integrity.  The problem isn’t Shinseki, the problem is the VA.

Consider some numbers that illustrate the level of the problem:

VA

$153B for 312K employees caring for 9M patients

National Health Service

$183B for 1.7M employees caring for 63M patients

Now somebody smarter than I could probably explain why this comparison is not equivalent.  There’s probably some concept I’m missing.  But at the base level these numbers still tell the core story.  The VA is a bloated dysfunctional bureaucracy.

Just changing the person at the top won’t alter things.  Pumping more money into the budget won’t either.  Only two things can correct this situation:

a)  Completely change the VA’s organization, mandate, budget into something different

b)  Completely change the way government employees are managed

In any reasonable world the VA is a bankrupt entity that should have died and been rebuilt into something better decades ago.  But this is government and government can’t go bankrupt.  Yet without creative destruction this mess will just go on.  Kill it and then rebuild it.

Or you have to start treating government employees differently.  The folks who have ruined the VA lack integrity, efficiency, and value because they exist in a system that does not reward talent, merit, and performance.  That so many senior VA officials have turned out as corrupt, incompetent fools should not surprise anybody.  You get the people your organization generates.

Will Congress and the public even consider options (a) and (b)?  Probably not.  They’re too hard and controversial.  So don’t be surprised in a decade when everything’s the same.

0530_shinseki_gone_970-630x420

This man has to go back to the VA next month for his checkup

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We’re all a bunch of lunatics, calm down

The insanity on display today is beyond comprehension.  I’m not going to list one topic and bitch about it like a child.  You figure it out.

For the blogger, insanity is defined as desiring to write about every single thing you hear during a day that angers you, and then deciding not to do it.  Why?  Because you’d be worse off, and unable to make your point.  Suffice to say, that if I wrote about any topic today, I’d be filled with nothing but a sea of profanity and disgust.

Every topic bleeds the symptoms of a culture and human race bound for the crypt.  My guests have spent most of the day shaking their heads at the awfulness.  In their view, such a weak, twisted, vain race would burn in eight hours if they could introduce a proper Heavy Assault Fleet into our high orbit.  Fortunately for us all, they can’t.  They’re just a bunch of degenerate, exiled, drunk assholes.  Fuck them.

Why am I writing this then?  I guess because I had to do something.  Nothing is not an option when you feel compelled to bleed your brain.  I guess I’ll go with one theme that troubles me that is common to all of today’s issues:

a)  Everybody treats every single issue as if the universe is about to collapse

b)  They then choose a side, even if there is no side

c)  They then choose to target the other side as evil and destroy them

d)  This thus results in a lot of shouting, hatred, and generally awful behavior

e)  Nothing is accomplished, and we all end up where we started

f)  God, Jesus, Yoda, and Buddha shake their heads; knowing we’ve learned nothing

Hey, look assholes, calm the fuck down.  You think your pet issue is motivating?  Here’s a motivating sentence for you:

In six hundred years your bones will be dust.

Relax, kick back, have a drink, and enjoy what life you have.  Hug your friends and loved ones.  Laugh with them.  Don’t spend your day shouting vile at your opposition when if all you did was actually sit down with them, you’d discover they aren’t under the influence of Hitler’s ghost.

Maybe we’ve always been this way, the venom.  Maybe Caveman 1, Caveman 2, Cavewoman 3, and Cavewoman 4 spewed the same level of hatred at each other.  But I doubt it.  Back then, humans needed each other to survive, regardless of what they thought day to day.  Well, I’ve got news for you lunatics.  It’s still the same.

We need each other to survive.  All of us.  We’re all a bunch of lunatics, calm down.

supernova_w49b

One million-trillion lives may have existed inside this bubble of death; keep that in mind; and go hang out with your friends and family and have fun; then, come back and try again without the evil

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Things are returning to normal, but they shouldn’t

Nobody wants to live in a state of perpetual crisis; to get pounded every single day in the head with awful reality.  So Uncle Vlad has sounded rather charitable lately.  And so do his Western counterparts.  Now that the drama’s subsided, everybody wants to get back to normal.  Vlad’s backed Ukrainian elections, pulled some troops away, and didn’t resort to screaming like the lunatic he is when Prince Charles called him exactly what he is.

By the way, you have to applaud Charles for speaking the truth and the not backing down.  When you see how the three big men of British politics responded, you affirm quite a lot of who they really are:

Cameron:  The Prince… “…everyone is entitled to their private opinions.”

Clegg:  The Prince… “…free to express himself.”

Miliband:  The Prince… “…has got a point.”

Which is to confirm that Cameron remains the hack-fraud everybody thinks he is; Clegg is still a vacuum-sealed-lifeform-in-a-suit; and Miliband, for all his many, many faults is still a democrat at heart and has the admirable quality of telling everybody what he really thinks.  Even if telling everybody what he thinks usually gets him in trouble.

But it’s okay you tart Brits.  You’re not the only ones led by a walking corpse.  Monsieur Hollande still can’t bring himself to not sell amphibious assault ships to Vladimir.  Apparently because he says that once you sign contracts, they are sacred.  Oh, I get it.  So Vlad can violate international law and multiple signed treaties but the French will be damned if they break a single contract.  This is to say that Vlad could invade Poland and burn Warsaw to the ground.  But as long as it doesn’t lead to the loss of five-hundred union jobs in Saint-Nazaire, Hollande would respond, “Meh, [French shrug] what can you do?”

Vlad is not happy with Charles.  For once he almost seems to whine just a little.  He doesn’t like being compared to one of history’s greatest monsters.  But they’re essentially the same kind of guy.  Except that Vlad has a much lower body count and is in the end rather less successful in achieving his goals up front.  But Charles is right and both Vlad and Hitler see Europe the same way.  Unfortunately for us all, there’s no Churchill or de Gaulle waiting in the wings to turn things around.  And so this will go on and on.

Everybody in our blessed Western establishment governments and businesses want things to go back to normal.  The West needs Russia for gas, for oil, for cash, on Syria, Iran, Afghanistan transport links, nuclear proliferation, and about sixteen other major actions.  But to push Ukraine to the side and get back to normal in the pursuit of these goals misses the gravity of the damage Putin has recently wrought to the West and the world order it claims to represent.  This one you can’t let slide.

In two weeks Vlad shows up to the Normandy commemorations of 06 June.  Oh, yeah, if you didn’t know, Hollande has not withdrawn the invitation.  So in two weeks all the “leaders” of the West are going to stand side-by-side with a leader who’s just recently gone against everything those who fought at Normandy stood for.

They’re going to let him get away with it because they think they need him.  They require his Russia so they can get back to normal.  They might as well kidnap five Ukrainians off the street, take them to Sword Beach, and urinate on them atop an old Nazi coastal gun box.  And while they’re at it, walk over to the cemetery and spit on the graves of the fallen.  It’s the same as standing next to Putin after what’s happened.  It’s a disgrace.

9862553

“Well Vlad, you have to know, you’re a filthy Hitler shit.”

“Yeah, and what are you going to do about it, pig?!”