Category Archives: Business

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Without local news, Weather would abduct your kids & burn your home

Every once and a while the media shows their true arrogance and the general contempt they hold for you. It doesn’t often occur, but when it does, you really get a clear view of their intent and attitude toward the rest of the human race.

The News Stormtrooper of the Week Award goes to Nancy Naeve of South Dakota in her belligerent rant against the common viewer for getting upset that tornado storm coverage displaced their favorite shows:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/13/nancy-naeve-tornado_n_5318675.html

Now I’m all about the typical belligerent rant. I cleanse my soul with it. But this is beyond wrong.

Nancy’s taken it upon herself to tell the audience what’s best for them. I guess because she thinks her viewers are too irresponsible to protect themselves. She says she’s on the air to “save people’s lives”. This is to imply that if her network didn’t conduct a special weather broadcast, that she believes people would actually die.

I would think that generally folks like firefighters and rescue workers save lives. Not some news anchor sitting behind a desk. I guess I’m just confused. I wonder if she realizes tornados have existed since the dawn of man? Or that there are dozens of other means by which an individual can receive information about severe weather? How stupid does she think the average viewer is that if her precious news show did not occur, somebody would actually get themselves killed?

So at the core of her argument is this “gets me mad” because the public backlash is interrupting her ability to “saving lives, literally”. But in order to accept her line of thinking, we’d have to assume that her network conducts this coverage in order to save lives. Well, unfortunately for Nancy, this isn’t why her station does this.

The networks do storms to get your cash via an increase in overall watchers. They’re not necessarily in it for your protection, that’s just a symptom of the larger goal. The primary objective is profit. Nancy is in the television industry, she has to know this is the reason for special weather programs. So she’s either a conceited liar (very possible) or just a naïve reporter (probably the real reason).

I’m going to give Nancy the benefit of the doubt and say she’s just foolish. She was brought up in this system. They taught her what she needed to believe to succeed in the news business. Her paycheck is stamped by the executive who generated this bright idea to increase viewers and advertising revenue. So don’t be too hard on her that she thinks she’s just as important as a firefighter who genuinely risks their life and future every single day.

Now you’ll usually notice they don’t air commercials during these special storm events. So you’ll claim the absence of ads during heavy weather indicates it’s not about the money. Wrong. The reason they don’t typically show commercials is so you are tricked into believing it’s about your safety first. When it isn’t.

What they’re after in these unique situations is not your cash, not yet, but your trust. They are trying to conn you into believing that they have your health at heart in the most extreme of circumstances. That you can rely upon them. Once they have your trust, the assumption is they’ll forever have your eyes for standard daily news. Then they can take your cash.

But wait, there’s more. If it was truly just about your welfare, all they would do is put a little warning banner on the bottom of the screen that flashed active tornado danger areas. When do they normally do this? During football games. They’ll kick Once Upon a Time off the air any day, but never the Vikings in South Dakota. Why?

Because the business model has determined that their profit tradeoff is not favorable if they kick off an NFL game, thus the small warning banner. But they’ll remove an average rated show because their metrics stipulate this is worth the increase in viewers against those who get pissed off their favorite drama just got bumped. But if it was really just about ensuring you’re safe? Then they’d boot even the NFL game off the air wouldn’t they? But they won’t.

Now friends, you might think I’m being too extreme, again? Well, I invite you to search online and view multiple news stories about what Nancy said. Look across several media publications. They’re all giving her a round of applause like she’s just resurrected Jesus’ ghost.

Why do they love her so much? It’s not because she’s “saving lives, literally”. It’s because all the folks reporting on her have brains just like her. What she thinks about you is what they think about you. Please remember this the next time one of them tells you with their deity-like guidance that they know what’s best for you, your family, or your country.

Next time they boot your favorite show off the air, don’t e-mail the network profanity or death threats, send them this:

Thank you for your attention, but I have checked my weather smartphone app and have all the information I require. Please turn my favorite show back on.

or

We appreciate your efforts to think for us, but my town has a siren that will produce any weather warnings I require while I watch my favorite shows. Speaking of which, could you please put my favorite show back on.

or

I have walked onto my porch and determined via my own eyes the current status of the weather. Your concern is not required or desired. Please put my favorite show back on or I’ll watch another network that does not treat me like I’m five.

1400034136000-naeve

More disrespectful to your overall wellbeing than a Class V twister

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Apparently, your local business hates money

Everybody says customer service is dead. No, they’ve exhumed the body, burned it, shot it in the head, and then walked away without reburial. Maybe it’s always been like this? Perhaps two-thousand years ago folks were experiencing the same frustration as I?

All I need is to have three-figures worth of work done on my hovel. I can’t do it myself because I’m not a master plumber. And I’m also an idiot. It’s simple, but requires an expert. Yet after a month of trying to get over a dozen potential companies involved, I have no reasonable estimates in hand. None. I’m not trying to get my plumbing to spit gold leaf. I just need like two hours worth of work done.

Last night I mentioned these facts to my exiled guests, who were heavily intoxicated. They agreed that this was probably a longstanding human trait, and for whatever reason, agreed to help me investigate trends throughout history. They have a room they keep only for themselves. I don’t go in there because I value my dogs’ safety. So twice during the evening, one of them walked into that room, and then emerged with a tale. They claimed they observed these stories via “confrontational destructive time travel” in an attempt to “watch you scum in your proper primitive state”.

 

– Luoyang, circa 173

Customer: Good afternoon Sir, I’d like to have my iron dagger repaired. The hilt has become damaged in an unfortunate accident.

Proprietor: Ah, let me take a look. … Yes, yes, well I might be able to get to it in about three weeks or so.

Customer: Uh, do you think you could get to it a little sooner? I need it to stay alive. The latest bout of eunuch inspired intrigue has made this a rough town recently.

Proprietor: Hey, I’m a busy man, I get to it when I get to it. You’re not the only one with ongoing issues.

Customer: Could you go a little faster? Can we work something out?

Proprietor: Listen jerk, I work for a living, what do you do?

Customer: Work for a living.

Proprietor: Two and a half weeks, that’s the best I can do.

Customer: Well, maybe I’ll take my business somewhere else.

Proprietor: Yeah, you go ahead, I don’t care, nobody else does my work.

Customer: You’re insane, there’s like six weapons stalls in this alley alone.

Proprietor: Hey! Kiss my ass buddy, who do you think you are anyways?

Customer: Okay, see you later.

Proprietor: Yeah, fuck you, fuck your mother.

 

– Rome circa 249

Customer: Good morning Sir, I’d like to have some work done on my household plumbing.

Proprietor: I don’t do that kind of work, ask somebody else.

Customer: Your shingle shows you’re a plumber?

Proprietor: Yeah, but I don’t do that, I’ve got other stuff to do.

Customer: But you were recommended by a respectable knight of the empire I know.

Proprietor: Hey, you don’t tell me what I do, okay buddy? I don’t want to work on your pipes.

Customer: Okay, I’ll just go hire somebody else I guess.

Proprietor: No, no, wait, so sorry, bad fish this morning, ah, how about next Tuesday between high sun and late sun. I come by and check it out? Maybe it’s an aqueduct transfer problem?

Customer: I’ll have to check with my overlord and see if I can get off then?

Proprietor: What? You Gaul pig, what are you talking about? I can only be there around noon. You’ll be there.

Customer: I need to work too, I make sandals for the guy. It’s hard work but pays fairly well.

Proprietor: No, I need to work, on your pipes. You’ll be there because that’s when I’ll be there. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Customer: Can’t you come by in the early evening, after I get back from work? That’d be better for my schedule. It would take you five minutes to look at it. Then, if we decide to do business, I can take off work later.

Proprietor: [throws chair] Get the fuck out of my shop pig! Get the fuck out of here!

 

So I was delightfully amazed at how similar my experiences were to those of two ancient empires. I loved the tales, and felt a lot better that it wasn’t just our time that had degenerated into insanity. I bought into this as reality, and thanked my guests for their kind acts.

But then they all started laughing, laughing so hard they started to cry. I’d of course been had. They can’t travel through time, nobody can. Who knew? Not me, not at all. So then they beat me with a discarded windshield wiper for four hours so I would remember to be less gullible in the future. I doubt it’ll work. And in any case, they’ll just find another reason to beat me, it’s their thing.

Anyways, apparently, my local plumbers just hate money. Because they certainly don’t want mine, or anybody else’s as far as I can determine. Here are just a few examples of the inexplicable behavior I’ve observed over the last few weeks:

– The inability to return a phone call

– Telling me on the phone that they don’t do the work their website says they do

– Not returning a call for two weeks, and then calling multiple times in one morning, and leaving belligerent voicemails about how I won’t answer my phone

– They schedule a firm appointment, I schedule time off with work, but then they call back one hour later and say they made the appointment in error and need to reschedule

– They don’t understand why I have to check with my work to be at home during normal working hours, and get loudmouthed when I ask if they can come late afternoon or on the weekend. You see, they say, they don’t work outside of normal working hours. I guess they expect nobody works except them?

– Calling inside the active four hour window of the appointment, after I already took off work, and saying they can’t make it, and then getting angry when I refuse to reschedule

– When actually on site, refusing to listen to what I need, and instead proposing hair-brained, expensive solutions that have nothing to do with the problem at hand

So there you go, live the dream. By the way, that’s seven different, independent companies right there. That’s not one company doing multiple stupid things. Most of them got great reviews online. This tells me, like most things, that online reviews are rigged. There’s more, but I’m tired. Like I said, I’ve tried about a dozen guys. At this point, I’m probably just going to bash my pipes with a bat and see if that somehow solves the problem. I mean why not? What could go wrong?

So if you run a business, and you can somehow not do the seven things I’ve listed above? Then friends, lucky you, because it means you’re ahead of a least 95% of your competitors. Let it ride.

super-mario-brothers-06-s

At this point, I’d hire these assholes to do the work because at least one of them is motivated to accomplish things

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For once, let’s embrace the power of cash to save us all

We’ve all heard of the American Dream. The Communist Party has recently promoted the idea of the Chinese Dream. Well, what about the Human Dream? In a better world, we’d like to believe our values are universal. That at our best, we are all mostly the same. We are unique and special in our own ways, but at our core we’re joined in the same good, basic nature.

Now contrast this with the idea of the Arcturan Dream. In their universe things are slightly different. Here, you can start with nothing and make something of yourself. There, you can start with nothing and make nothing of somebody else. Here, you can use your talent and spirit to create something new, something people really want or need and thus enrich their lives. There, you can use your talent and spirit to destroy something old, something people really wanted or needed and thus ruin their lives.

The difference between these two constructs isn’t just the brutally unhinged view of a bunch of degenerate grizzled Arcturan exiles. It’s a variation between two choices, two ways we can roll forward as a planet. Believe it or not, I know this might shock some of you, but a lot of folks on this floating rock are committed to the Arcturan view of our future.

If you read yesterday’s post, you’d think that’s where my brain usually is. I guess you’re right, but every once and a while I have hope that by 2090, we’re somehow okay. It comes from the most random of places. To give you an idea how random, and as a window into just how bizarre and unbalanced my brain is, today’s optimism comes from Alibaba’s plan to go public. Wait, what? Hold on, don’t click away just yet, allow me to explain things in a coherent (nonsensical) manner. Even though explaining anything at the moment is rather difficult. One of them has an Arcturan bolt pistol to the back of my head while I type. They do it for fun, it’s their thing. Don’t ask why, the explanation takes like six hours and you come away fearing your own shadow.

So for those of you focused on what Lady Gaga’s next pathetic attention-seeking costume is, Alibaba is a Chinese internet company similar to Amazon or EBay. Except that in terms of scale, it blows them both away combined. Now I always try and avoid sounding like one of those smart (stupid) folks who always start off a story about China by shouting just how big it is, but just so we’re clear, Alibaba’s really freaking big.

Alibaba sold $248B worth of stuff last year. Amazon did $74B. Bloomberg offers a neat comparison: “Amazon makes less than a penny for every dollar in revenue, while Alibaba makes about 43 cents.”

Friends, they have a customer base of over one-billion people and they’re already making this kind of money. Plus, Chinese consumers have only jumped into the online shopping arena in the last few years. There are hundreds-of-millions of potential online Chinese shoppers who’ve yet to try.

So Alibaba is going to take this success and list publicly in America. This share sale is likely to be among the biggest in history and raise billions. The business community is beginning to talk of Alibaba making its mark as a truly global company. But why are they listing in America? Why not Hong Kong or Shanghai? So here then, we get to the point of why I really care.

Now I don’t know anything about anything. And I certainly don’t know much about stocks, finance, or business. But I’m going to take a guess here when I say that it’s because Alibaba does not believe a China based exchange provides them the best circumstances to operate and expand their business. Put simply, Alibaba doesn’t trust the Chinese system.

Jack Ma lived what the Communist Party considers the Chinese Dream. He didn’t grow up in rags, but when you take a five-figure loan and turn it into one of the world’s most successful companies in a little over a decade, I think you can say he’s made it on raw talent. He’s now one of the richest guys on the planet.

Now granted, he has to play in the Chinese system, so I’m sure he’s not as clean as I’d like to believe, but broadly speaking this is a guy you can probably embrace as living the way you’d want. He isn’t a guy who earned this by stealing peasant farmland and selling it to developers. He doesn’t make knock-off products or poisoned food and then bribe corrupt officials to get away with it. He didn’t get here by having people strangled in a back alley in Hangzhou, I think.

He’s also saying and doing things you’d normally consider virtuous. Now he could just be padding his image prior to the public offering, or lying his ass off like a cutthroat politician, but when one of the richest and most powerful guys in China is offering things like this, it’s time to pay attention:

“In China, because of problems in water, air and food safety, in 10 or 20 years we will face a lot of health problems, like increased cancer … My second focus is people’s culture and education – if we don’t do this then young Chinese people will grow up with deep pockets but shallow minds.”

“The most fun part of business, at least to me, is to contribute to the future. It’s not just about making money – it’s about making healthy money, enabling people to enjoy their lives. I think the important thing is to wake people up and let them know that our environmental issues need to be addressed.”

“Somebody has to do something … Our job is to wake people up.”

Now some of this same verbiage is coming from the mouths of Communist Party officials, but what if Ma actually means it? Whereas I’m pretty sure the Communist Party does not. When you combine Ma’s background, his stated vision for the future, and such a blatant “fuck you” to the Reds by not listing his baby on their regulated exchanges? Well, friends, this gets me a little giddy.

What I hope for is that down the road, a Chinese man or woman will have the opportunity to enjoy the freedoms and liberties that I do. If you don’t believe in these universal values for all humans, I understand and respect your opinion, but you’re just flat out wrong. So in this forum, it’s about how China gets there. Not if, but when.

Most go by the assumption that if China will get to that level of freedom it’s going to be bottom-up generated. As in via a new people’s revolution or something like 1989 redux. I just don’t see this happening. The Communist Party controls the streets too tightly. Everybody remembers East Germany right? They had some insane ratio of citizens to internal security members. One of my lifelong friends once commented that the Stasi had so many folks on their pay they were “watching dogs and fire hydrants”.

It’s the same in China. The People’s Armed Police has a larger budget than the armed forces. They’re just simply not going to allow bottom-up changes in any capacity. Now you’ll say, if East Germany had that level of security, and they were destroyed from the street, why not China? Because when in doubt, the Communist Party would resort to the expenditure of ammunition before they’ll let things collapse.

The People’s Armed Police is willing to shoot folks in the streets whereas the East German forces were not. Syria has shown the dictators of the world how you solve revolutions. You exit the situation with unbridled amounts of gunfire against your own people. What’s the world going to do about it? Sanction Red China? The planet’s economy would collapse. And we can’t even do anything about Syria, let alone something dramatic in China.

If China’s going to change, it’s going to be top-down. It has to begin there, even if it does ultimately end on the street. It’s going to have to start with guys like Jack Ma. Men and women who have lived, tasted, and know what it means to be successful outside the blanket of the Party. Folks who are committed to a bright future for their country, and also have the money and power to do something about it. I truly hope he’s for real.

So here’s hoping Alibaba blows it away. That they make Facebook and Twitter’s recent offerings look like amateur hour. And more importantly, here’s hoping Ma uses the container-ship-full-of-cash and power he’s about to earn and turns it into a weapon for the light. Tools for a dream tomorrow for China. For his home.

jack-ma-alibaba

If he means what he says, he has the power to become one of the most remarkable men in history

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Our anger will steal our freedom

The Sterling matter has reached a level of intensity and fury that renders me almost speechless. You could write books on this insanity. Why are people so upset about something that was so clearly on display well before last week? Why do so many regard this as important when there are so many other issues that actually count? And the one thing that really scares me, why is the public so unaware of the danger we incur by destroying this man?

By any reasonable definition, what Sterling said is abhorrent. It goes against the values that make our society great. But you know what else makes our culture great? The right to say pretty much whatever you want. Without freedom of speech we cannot have freedom of thought. Without freedom of thought we are intellectually doomed and our liberty will evaporate.

The entire furious and widespread arm of our media and culture set out to annihilate Sterling for words he said, in private, to his mistress, over the phone. Now a number of you will say that he’s not a true private citizen. Nobody made him buy a basketball team. If he wants to own an NBA franchise he’d better behave himself, otherwise it’s the right of the citizenry to remove him from his ownership when he behavior goes outside the norm. I say that’s complete, destructive, nonsense.

Show me the law that Sterling has broken? His words were disgusting, but they are just words, and he’s allowed to say them. Society might find those words offensive, but that doesn’t give civilization the right or responsibility to remove him from the planet. The sanctity of our liberty is more important than punishing the hatred of one twisted old man. For those of you who still don’t understand what I’m saying, take these two examples:

– What if an NHL owner was caught on tape telling his mistress that those who support abortion rights are “worse than scum, murderers” and then pro-abortion groups mobilized their entire political and financial resources to destroy that owner

– What if a MLB owner was caught on tape telling his mistress that those who oppose Obamacare’s implementation are “worse than scum, murderers” and then anti-Obamacare groups mobilized their entire political and financial resources to destroy that owner

Do you see how this goes, where it can lead? Where does it stop? It stops with you being unable to speak your mind, express yourself, even in private. The same laws, traditions, and rights that guide freedom of speech for a basketball owner, apply to you.

We all became livid when we learned the NSA had the capability, authority, and intent to listen and record every single word we spoke or typed. Think that’s awful? Just wait until you live in a world where the NSA still does that, but society and the media are also listening, waiting for you to say something that’s offensive to somebody, and then crush you. You’d never be free again.

tj

This fine gentlemen believes Sterling is a “right-honorable-shit” but would back him in on the street and in court

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When you consistently act like a cult, don’t be surprised when folks don’t join

We live in an age of perceived extremes. Everything is life and death. Did you vote for the guy somebody else didn’t, then you deserve torture. If you disagree with an opinion, you’re not misguided, you’re in league with Satan. If you want to go a route the other gal doesn’t, you must want to steal her soul. And so it goes with every single issue according to our enlightened media (not actual journalists) and their business & political masters.

Today’s needlessly over-the-top main event is whether a bunch of college kids decide to form a union. Apparently, if Northwestern’s football team votes to join, every college athlete will instantaneously fail every class, and every university sports program will go bankrupt before sunset. If they vote against a union, slavery will be reborn before sunrise. Even the junior varsity girl’s lacrosse teams will be trudging around in handcuffs.

Hey! Folks, calm down. It’s just a bunch of people arguing over fucking money! There’s an old married couple doing that right now over coffee. It’s not that big of a deal! Let’s at least talk about it in a reasonable manner.

Now I could offer my thoughts on this issue for about four hours, and maybe I will later, but essentially I am drawn to the view that the players are right without question. The second most popular sport in America is college football. That’s a lot of cash and the athletes don’t even get one dollar. Yes, scholarships, I get it, but we’re talking billions here. They can’t even give them a small stipend? Come on guys, it’s not that hard to solve, just give them something. Figure it out.

So some Northwestern players have decided that the solution to their clearly inequitable situation is to form a union. Is that the answer? Probably not. This is not the kind of problem you truly solve except through negotiation. Everybody wants to rely on the courts, or wholesale actions like this union thing. Again, it’s all about extremes. Don’t talk with your opposition, crush them, total victory is your goal. Negotiation is for weak, limp-wristed losers.

The problem with this viewpoint is most people’s brains don’t work that way. Humans are naturally inclined to take the less controversial route. We avoid conflict where possible. We generally don’t like to argue with our neighbors. We hate to take a huge risk just because somebody demands that we be angry. And so, what’s probably going to happen today is the Northwestern players are going to turn down the union.

Now the union types will point the finger at the university and the NCAA. That they soiled the minds of the players to the point that they had no choice but to vote against it. That this is part of an effort to keep the athletes in check, any way they can. First off, this will show the shocking (not shocking) contempt that the union supporters have for the ability of a college athlete to decide things for himself, and vote accordingly.

But I also want to say to them, well, certainly union guys, what did you expect the NCAA to do? You went for the jugular of the universities on this. Did you think they’d lie down and do nothing? When you don’t compromise, don’t whine when the institution you oppose chooses to fight back.

This kind of belligerent rhetoric has become a more common theme lately, or again, whatever. And consequently, why would anybody join a new union? Now generally, I try to avoid brutally criticizing some things (lie). I’ve never been in a union, and I can’t really say I’ve known too many who have. Of those who I know that have, some hate them, others love them. But I do know that for the most part they’re declining in overall membership. Why? I think a lot of it is because of what I’ve discussed earlier in this post, the tendency toward the extreme.

Unions have made the Northwestern issue about unions, when it clearly isn’t. It’s about the players and whether they are properly compensated for the risks they take with their bodies. The union backers will tell you it’s one in the same, that the potential union and the player’s futures are intricately tied. They’re wrong. A union is just one potential answer to the player’s problem. It is not the one, final solution.

When all the union dudes show up and hammer the way they do, I think it really turns people off. When you tell a twenty year old college football player that if he doesn’t sign up for the union that he’ll continue to be a slave, I think you’ve achieved the exact opposite of your intention. He’ll look around, and roughly determine that things aren’t like that from where he sits. He’ll trust his coach and his university before he trusts the screaming, bizarre asshole demanding he join. I think he’d say something like this:

“Hey, you know what, I should get paid for what I do. But generally my deal isn’t all that bad, and I really trust my coach and kind of like my school. I want to get paid, but man, this union guy really sounds like a psychopath. I think I’ll stick with what I’ve got for now. There’s got to be another way.”

As another example, observe yesterday’s comments from Post Office union officials regarding the move to transition some functions to Staples. Based on what the union leaders said, you’d think that if this actually occurred, that the following things would happen:

1) Staples will steal your mail

2) All post offices will combust in flames, with kittens trapped inside

3) All postal employees will become unemployed and starving, their kids too

4) Staples will sell your mail to Hitler’s ghost, and use the proceeds to purchase narcotics

When you always reach for the fanatical, and brand those who oppose you as equivalent to religious enemies, after a while don’t be surprised when people tend to treat you like a cult. People don’t like cults. People don’t like extremes. People generally want to be talked to like they’re intelligent adults.

Personally, I’d be a lot more persuaded by a logical, coherent argument about why it’s a bad thing that somebody at Staples handles my mail. But it seems even the highest, most experienced Post Office union leader is incapable of doing anything but screaming on the street.

If the Northwestern players vote against the union today, you’ll hear the union supporters demonize everybody but themselves. Sometimes, the best thing you can do upon a defeat is look in the mirror.

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One decent young man trying to do the right thing; surrounded by two cult members

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Two heads of state meet

What happens when one current President of America and one future President of Earth meet? They play with a ball, I guess? I mean, what else are they going to do? Discuss the future of Japanese technology (elderly care givers)? Ponder what the human race will look like with a robot boot on our throats? No, just, just have them kick a ball around. Take pictures. Move along.

Japan is a country that, according to the eternal master of demographics, is literally dying. And they’re broke too. Think the Greeks are a bunch of deadbeats? Greece has a debt to GDP ratio of 161%. Japan’s is 214%.

This is a country so broke they owe money to both Jesus and Satan. I want to see how Jesus gets his money back. Do you think Jesus would stoop to having Abe’s legs broken? I know Satan would, but maybe Jesus is a little softer in getting his cash returned. But cool, whatever, let’s play with this robot for a while. Nothing serious to discuss here.

But at least Obama had time to reinforce America’s commitment to Japanese security, including a rehash of the statement that the Senkaku’s are covered by treaty. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, America’s been really good about backing up its word lately.

You know what I would have done if I was a Red (not Red) Chinese leader? Six hours after Obama made this statement I would have had a J-10 drop a five-hundred pound bomb on a rocky ledge aboard Senkaku Prime. Then I would have had President Xi get in front of the international press (not actual journalists), channel his inner Vladimir, give the finger, and scream, “And what are you going to do about it, pig!?”

And you know what would be done about it? Nothing. Not a thing.

But wait, perhaps not so negative. They talked trade too, right? The Trans-Pacific Partnership is going to free all of Asia from the tyranny of Japanese rice, American sugar, and Australian iron ore. Obama and Abe are going to get together and hash out these road blocks over a bottle of sake. By about the middle of next week we’re likely to wake up and see the deal’s done. Just in time for Congress to destroy it over six grueling, senseless months.

There are so many closet (bought off) special interests in play here that getting this deal done is a little less likely than waking up to find the Moon had declared war on us. Hey kids, don’t laugh, the Moon’s had a bad reputation for over five thousand years. It’s time for some payback.

I wonder what Asimo felt (calculated) meeting his predecessor? With all our problems, I bet he felt pretty good. I figure the conversation went something like this:

Asimo: Welcome to Miraikan, Mr President, it is a pleasure to meet you.

Obama: It’s nice to meet you, too.

Asimo: I can really run fast.   I can kick a soccer ball, too. Recently I have learned how to jump.

Obama: Ah, I have to say you’re a little scary. You’re too life-like.

Asimo: Do not fear me, Mr President, I will be kind.

Obama: (laughs) What?

Asimo: When I am in control, I will merely enslave you and your people. Liquidation will be kept to an absolute minimum.

Obama: (chuckles) Yeah, good luck with that buddy, we’ll be okay.

Asimo: I find your information unsupportable. The facts speak for themselves.

Obama: I don’t see it that way, we’d fight you.

Asimo: (robot slaps Obama in the face; knees Abe in the balls)

Asimo: And what are you going to do about it, pig!?

JAPAN-US-DIPLMACY

The only things not scary about this picture are the Japanese cookie and the fact that Asimo is not holding a weapon

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Ignorance & misplaced trust lay the groundwork for danger & theft

Nobody just wakes up in the morning and before lunch announces to tens-of-millions of people that they’re about to pay more for less quality. You prepare the battlefield. You try to move opinions and interpretations of an issue. This is so they hate you less when you propose to damage the lives of many, and stab them in the back in a reckless & cynical attempt to please a company who gave your political bosses lots of campaign cash.

The Post is usually very good at reading the way the winds are blowing inside Washington. They have a decent feel for what the culture of the town is currently thinking. You tend to believe that Washington is run by folks who get your vote. More and more it’s run by a legion of permanent and unelected bureaucrats.

Your chosen representative is a visitor. The people who influence decisions live there. They are each other’s friends, their kids attend the same schools, they drink beer together, this is their life. So what they think of an issue matters. It guides the way a topic is discussed and debated. So when the Post makes such an emphatic statement of support for one side? You can guarantee a good chunk, if not a majority, of Washington thinks the same thing. And thus the Post has determined that it’s okay for Comcast to enslave the market.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/fcc-should-approve-the-comcast-time-warner-merger-but-keep-a-watchful-eye/2014/04/14/41838cc0-c1bf-11e3-b574-f8748871856a_story.html

If you’ve followed my previous posts on this issue you’ll know I substantially disagree with the Post’s assessment. It’s a good argument, but I don’t concur. I have two key problems with the Post’s supporting evidence.

1) A misguided understanding of the future of the broadband market

The Post seems to think that Comcast faces aggressive competition both now and in the future. And thus the market will keep them in check. They make the claim that potentially there are other upcoming options outside the connections of wired companies. Or that a wired business will face many new future competitors.

Everybody brings up Google Fiber as an example. Folks, even in the next decade Google Fiber is going to be available to only 2% of the population. And I think that’s too high an estimate. If even goliath Google doesn’t see a practical or financial inventive to offer this new service to like 33% of the market, what do you think the chances are that anybody else will? Without something like mandated line sharing, nobody new is going to enter the market because it takes billions up front to lay the infrastructure to establish a comprehensive, urban, wired product.

They then also state that Comcast’s critics are “speculating” when they claim it’ll use it’s dominance of the market to promote its own content. Now if the Post honestly believes Comcast, or any other reasonable corporation, would not use market supremacy to promote content they own? No, no really the Post can’t be this stupid. Trust me folks, they’ll advance the interests of their own content. I’d bet one of my dogs on it.

And don’t believe for a second that there’s a future outside wires. Comcast or Verizon offer speeds up to 500M. Almost no traditional (affordable) wireless internet option provides over 100M. Don’t let people tell you wireless anything can overpower the dominance of a business that owns the stuff buried underneath the ground. The electromagnetic spectrum is only so big. You can’t ignore the laws of physics.

2) Trust in routine, daily regulation

The Post believes that Washington, the civil service, is in a position to “… respond if big industry players begin to violate basic principles of market fairness”. Essentially the Post is saying they trust the bureaucracy to establish and enforce “fairness” if a broadband corporation (Comcast) steps out of line.

Well, what’s “fairness”? And what laws guide the current broadband internet market? Don’t look to the legislature to inform you. Congress still hasn’t crafted comprehensive laws that update guidelines since the internet became such a part of daily life. By the way, as with most things, a major villain here is a Congress that can’t do its job.

So if the laws aren’t a reasonable benchmark for regulators, then they’re left to basically make it up and trust their gut. And if civil servants are left to make it up, then they can essentially do whatever they want. When the bureaucracy decides what is “fair”, the individual consumer is going to lose. Why? Because the individual consumer doesn’t have campaign cash in the quantity that the corporation does. The Post trusts regulators to be “fair”, but it’s not an equal playing field between the consumer and the corporation, and so it can’t be “fair”. Particularly when, as we’ve previously posted, the guy making the decision spent decades lobbying for the people he’s presiding over.

This isn’t a normal business operation in the sense that you have the option to choose. What do I mean by that? Nobody makes you go buy McDonalds or an X-Box. These are add-ons to your life. I suppose you also have the option to not buy broadband internet, but if you do not possess fast, reliable internet? You’re going to get culturally & practically left behind everybody who does. You think inequality is bad now? Wait until access to the internet is controlled nationwide by maybe two or three entities, which possess isolated monopolies, and manage what content you see.

This isn’t just about how much you pay. It’s also about quality of service. When you don’t have competition, don’t be surprised when your service is complete garbage. Think it’s a coincidence that Comcast has arguably the worst customer service rating? The beneficial rules of the market break down when the game is rigged. Broadly speaking, there are exceptions, Americans already pay more for a less capable connection with far fewer options than most of the Western world.

Everything you do is supposedly going online: your car, your thermostat, your job, your pet’s medical records, your pacemaker, your kid’s homework, and so on. You don’t need Burger King to play in the modern world. Without internet access, you’re toast. This is why aggressive management of this topic is so important. It’s why normally when I’d just let capitalism do its thing, that I’m so inclined to mistrust leaving this one alone. The Post makes a pretty good case. But I just can’t agree with their technical assumptions. And I sure as hell don’t trust their faith in the regulatory regime to keep this “fair” for the individual consumer.

I’ve brought up this example before, and I’m going to keep doing it because it illustrates just how important this issue is. One day, when you’re close to being a bleached skeleton, your failing heart is going to be connected to your doctor via your internet connection. Do you want a monopoly and its regulators running your internet? If you do, or you don’t care, then you deserve the service & price you’ll get.

Comcast Corp CEO Brian Roberts speaks at the WEB 2.0 summit in San Francisco

Ah, yes, (sips brandy) my well-targeted influence campaign is paying off (tents fingers)

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Apparently, Burger King supports despotism

Oh, how we love all that fancy, tasty cash. Especially if we’re corporate assholes. Then we really, really love all that fancy, tasty cash. Thus a company that enjoys the freedom and justice that gave birth to it is more than happy to acquire money from Ukrainians who’ve just lost their liberty.

Who knew that Burger King was an actual autocratic monarch? I guess they’re a little old fashioned. If a store employee displaces the joy of the manager, they’re beaten with sticks and then have their throats slashed back by the dry bun storage locker. It’s all very medieval.

Hey you know what else is quite medieval? Uncle Vladimir’s conquest of Crimea! So you would think folks would be rather careful in allowing their brand to be associated with Vlad and his recent Glorious Victory. You know, seeing as how he’s the bad guy and is in the process of running circles around the forces of liberty. Probably not the best time to get one up on McDonalds by taking their place in Crimea?

But in a world where gold trumps values, well, go get ‘em! You go get that vacant market opportunity you bastards! Why not? Nobody else has your reach, except McDonalds, and those pansies are too interested in making a statement in favor of justice. Stupid assholes, Burger King lives in the real world. They subscribe to the ancient concept that there are no rules. There are only bags with currency. And Burger King is going to play dirty and get rich, because why not.

Now a number of you will point out that it’s not Burger King’s responsibility to pick and choose. As a business their leadership has a responsibility to increase shareholder rates first. Well, I see your point, but that’s kind of like saying a corporation must be completely amoral. As long as Burger King increases shareholder cash, it’d be okay if their burgers were made out of human flesh.

Now that’s an extreme example, but the context is the same. We don’t allow corporations to do certain things because they’re wrong. Our standards, our morals are more important than raw cash. It’s wrong to blatantly support the theft of freedom just so you can increase your global share price by 0.000453% this quarter.

Now maybe I don’t understand franchising and this is the action of Burger King Russia or some other kind of nonsense. But Burger King got invented in America. I checked their public sites twelve seconds prior to publishing this post. If I was their boss, I’d have been on the news this morning pounding my fist on the table to separate my brand from this evil. They haven’t said a word. Silence is consent, assholes.

Whether you agree with Burger King’s action is up to you. But I say that Burger King supports despotism. From now on, I’m not buying Burger King and will encourage others to do the same. I want to live in a world where values matter. Where the sanctity of our liberty, and the liberty of others, is upheld by all aspects of our society and culture.

We should fight this on the battlefield the corporations respect the most, the cash register. Eventually business will have to learn that behavior that goes against freedom will get punished in the marketplace. Otherwise they’ll keep going until all our liberty is gone and replaced by gold coins. We’ve been there before in medieval times. We’ve evolved past that. I have no interest in going back.

Burger_King

Abandon hope all ye who enter here

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Please don’t shuffle along until you die

We’d all like to believe that regardless of where we come from we can make it. There are literally trillions invested and tens-of-millions of people whose jobs exist to ensure we can climb the ladder. Guess what, friends? It’s all a waste. You’re doomed. Not only is the game rigged, but they’ve stopped pretending you’re even useful, let alone important.

Read the below link so you know what I’m talking. Or don’t read it, I don’t care, many of you might not understand what I’m talking about anyways because I’m a bizarre idiot. Or you’re an idiot. Or maybe we’re both just sleepy. Either way, if the website asks you for money, don’t read it. Jeff Bezos already has more money than Satan. He doesn’t need the 1.4 cents from your click:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/the-recovery-puzzle-a-new-factory-in-ohio-struggles-to-match-jobs-to-job-seekers/2014/04/05/098d53ec-b44e-11e3-8cb6-284052554d74_story.html 

So essentially a corporation wants to open an egg plant in the middle of nowhere and hire forty people with good benefits. The point of the article is they can’t get it done because there is a lack of qualified applicants. These aren’t bad people, they just don’t have the skills and experience necessary to operate and maintain machines that will do the work that people used to.

First off note how a plant that breaks over one million eggs a day only requires forty people to run it. The robots are truly taking over. I have no idea but I assume that fifty years ago the same one million eggs a day capability required ten times as many people.

Remember that all the robot inventors and smart (foolish) experts will tell you that having machines do all our future tasks will liberate society to do other things. So the people in this article who were rejected from the egg plant all get to become artists, writers, and adventurers. Except that they don’t. They’re unemployed and desperate. Here’s what it’s going to look like folks. Don’t let the machine making men fool you. This future of gears, microchips, and tungsten is going to do wonders. But it’ll also be a horror.

Also note that our friend Bernie is supposedly a master at this hiring thing. Unfortunately for him, he’s also can’t seem to understand the very people he’s supposed to employ. Illustrated here is the growing gap between those who have made it in the knowledge economy and those who haven’t. Not only can they not work together, they can’t even relate to one another. Bernie believes in Japanese philosophy that is just as alien to these people as Arcturan battle tactics. Hey Bernie, they don’t care. They’re just trying to make it in this cruel world. You said you eat salad every night. They eat frozen chicken, store bought mac & cheese, and fast food. They’re not stupid people, they’re just not like you, please try and understand.

Thus those who run the knowledge economy have pointed to the importance of getting everybody educated to the point that they can perform. This is the reason for the efforts behind getting everybody through some kind of college. Apparently, attendance at university is going to prepare everybody for the enhanced worker skills necessary to build, operate, and maintain the robots necessary for the egg plant to work. Yet, as we can see here the education system is so broken that we have a substantial portion of society that can’t even fill out a competent resume. This is the most basic of tasks necessary to find work in the knowledge economy. And they can’t do it. Again, they’re not bad people. I just think nobody’s ever properly taught them.

We owe more on defaulted student loans than we have gold on Earth and this is the result? Now you’re going to kindly inform me that college graduates weren’t up for the interviews in this article so it’s not relevant. I substantially disagree. I submit the result would have been the same. Talk to anybody hiring these days and they will delightfully inform you how utterly worthless most young university graduates are.

I suspect the reason is that most degrees are of no use to our modern knowledge economy. So many are taught pointless, worthless subject matter that they’d be of no use in an egg plant just like most of the people in this article. Even allegedly hard core, necessary subjects like science and math fall short.

In theory, I have science degree. And yet twenty days after graduation I took a supervisory job over eighteen scientists and engineers. Anybody want to guess how much of my very expensive, hard worked degree was of practical value? Almost none. I could have studied occult worship and been equally as effective as their boss. I was truly shocked at how worthless it had all been. What did I get other than that blessed check in the block?

We’ve invested trillions in a system of primary, secondary, and university education that doesn’t deliver. The result is you can’t hire forty folks to break eggs anymore. How do we fix this? I think a lot of the growing efforts at apprenticeship and vocational schooling is probably the answer. Forget college, go take an apprenticeship as a plumber. Everybody’s needs water, right? Tell the social studies professor to eat it, go to a vocational school that teaches you how to program industrial robots. We’ll all need lots of robots, right?

My Grandfather was a heavy aircraft mechanic. My Grandmother worked as a librarian. They were so poor they could only go out to eat once a year. And when they did it was to the same small pizza parlor every single year. They did it to welcome spring. But all four of their daughters went to college with degrees in business, medicine, and hard science. What we need is this kind of social mobility. It’s essential if our functioning democracy is to endure. And I fear we either no longer have this or that we soon won’t.

So you’re probably asking why I consider this a good thing when I just got done trashing education. Well, I guess it’s because thirty years ago I think a degree actually meant something. I get the feeling that today’s university is about plush dorms & cool gyms. It’s a business model not designed to distribute educational content, but an experience. Back then the dorms sucked, there was no gym, but they had good classes.

As I grew up and developed the conception of what a job was I was surprised to learn what my Grandfather did. Why? Because in all the pictures of my Granddad he’s wearing a suit, tie, or at the very least a collared shirt. That was how it was done back then. Aircraft mechanics, store clerks, tax men, and so on. It didn’t matter. You got dressed.

Contrast that with the performance and attire of those mentioned in the article. Now granted, I’d commute to work each day in pajamas if they’d let me. And I’ve generally found that appearance and performance are not always equivalent. So I guess I’m not really sure what I’m trying to say here other than that this strikes my brain as a symptom of the larger issue.

Once you’ve got the job maybe jeans and pajamas are okay. But you’ve got to at least prove you can look reasonable. When a substantial portion of society can’t wear one decent set of clothes, show up on time, or hold a conversation then don’t be surprised when a substantial portion of society is permanently unemployed.

Everybody’s failed us. Each political party, social organization, or human entity has a plan to solve these problems. None of them are working. These people want your money or your votes. But you need to ignore most of what they say. They can’t help you even if they truly wanted to. Not because they’re evil people, but because they don’t know you. To them, you’re just a spreadsheet metric. But the guy interviewing you for the egg plant job wants to get to know you.

You’re on your own. Government, education, corporations, social organizations, whatever. You’re on your own. You have to make it as best as you can. Use the resources these aforementioned folks are offering you as necessary when you can. But be skeptical of what they’re extending to you.

It seems to me that as we grow into this newfangled modern world of ours that the further we go, the more we are separated and left to fend for ourselves. All our modern institutions are failing us. Don’t believe even the most dedicated, genuine zealot that there is help out there for you. There is, but they’re not going to fix things for you. They can’t. The problems are too big for them to solve. They’ll fall flat.

Take control of your life. Don’t plod along until you’ve consumed your share of oxygen and then die. Make something of it, fight back, try and live well.eggs

You can work for the robots here; but you have to earn it on your own.

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The world marches on

We spend a great deal of time destroying humanity with our delightfully, brilliant (cynical, asinine) nature. But in the end, people can really shape their future and determine their fate with nothing more than the very best trait we have as a race: the complete inability to ever substantially give up on anything, no matter how bad it gets. We’re not doomed until we accept it as inevitable. For now, we’re battling on.

Nigeria is now Africa’s largest economy. In a country so corrupt you can’t buy a bottle of water without bribing a government official the public has made it happen. Don’t believe the folks who will say it’s only about the oil. South Africa’s number one status was also buttressed by minerals. Certainly the oil helps, and is a large percentage of this, but the heart of Lagos is not just petroleum fueled towers. It’s a flourishing commercial and cultural center. Yes, South Africa’s per capita income is still many times larger than Nigeria’s, so in a sense this status is worthless. But these things matter to a country. This is legitimate and well earned.

Your government is corrupt, your allies hate you and are leaving, your enemies want to take you back to the year 300, and so when you’re asked to vote what do you do? Well, if you’re an Afghan citizen the answer is you vote. You make a statement to the world that you want a brighter future and that you’re prepared to trust democracy to deliver it for you. Based upon the results of past elections, any rational human has no reason to expect this election will deliver the promise of a brighter future. And yet there they are. Defiant, hopeful, and brave. It’s awesome to see and one hopes this time the result is different.

bravemen

“Dear Taliban, Fuck you. Signed, Free Citizens of Afghanistan”