My interest in golf is lower than Boris’ alcohol tolerance level. Did you get it? I did a thing there from yesterday’s post. Boris did not get the hook. Shocking.
I’ve played golf exactly once, because the best boss I ever had asked me to. So I did. I hated it and I was terrible. I love sports, but I don’t get golf. It’s a sport, I guess, but so cock fighting. And I’m not into that either.
I only know anything about golf when it happens to be on the screen in a bar (and I wish any other sport was on the screen), or from my coworkers who love it and talk about it all the time.
So here’s the earth shattering golf deal as of today:
1) The Saudis are creating their own golf league called LIV Golf. For the record, LIV Golf sounds like a sex toy.
2) The Saudis are doing this because their Dictator & Overlord in MBS is trying to soften Saudi Arabia’s image and court foreign investment.
3) In order to make LIV worthwhile (at least outside the bedroom), the Saudis are poaching the PGA’s best talent via millions and millions and millions of dollars.
4) This is considered bad because:
a) MBS is a murderer and war criminal + dictator
b) Apparently the PGA bans you if you go play for LIV, I guess, for some reason
Almost anybody can be bought, and shamelessly bought too! Just ask any Hollywood actor what they think about China.
Here’s Greg Norman’s take on murder: “We’ve all made mistakes and you just want to learn from those mistakes and how you can correct them going forward.” I guess Greg would be totally cool if someone murdered and dismembered one of his children. Just as long as the killer was willing to learn from his mistake.
Here’s Phil Mickelson’s take on murder: “They’re scary motherfuckers to get involved with. We know they killed Khashoggi and have a horrible record on human rights. They execute people over there for being gay. Knowing all of this, why would I even consider it? Because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reshape how the PGA Tour operates.” I guess Phil would be totally cool if MBS murdered and dismembered his Wife, just provided MBS still allowed Phil to change the way golf operates.
Of course, Greg and Phil are not pro-murder (I think) but are essentially (in the most cringe worthy of PR talking points of all time) just spouting whatever they think people want to hear while they’re on the way to the bank. It’s about coin. They don’t care about anything else.
To be clear, Phil and Greg are golf legends. It’d be like if Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers banned themselves from the NFL to play in a Saudi football league called KY Balls. The golf world is in hysterics.
Anybody can be bought. Hell I probably could be too. Let’s say some shitfaced dictator showed up and offered me $100M, I don’t know, how about Cambodia’s fucking Hun Sen. Say this piece of shit came to me and said, “Write me eight blog posts and I’ll give you $100M.” Would I REALLY turn this guy down? I’d probably be like:
1) Hun Sen is a dictator and an asshole
2) But I can’t save Cambodia all on my own, the great wheel does turn, doesn’t it?
3) $100M is a lot of money, I’d be set for life, and I could use a lot of that money to help my local community
4) Eight blog posts is not a lot of work
5) Fuck it, hold my nose let’s fucking do it
I hope I wouldn’t. I mean I REALLY, really hope I’d decline. But I might just do it, who knows. Almost anyone can be bought. It makes me sad for our lovely human race.