Near my apartment, the train station has a mural on the concrete wall that shows a flock of penguins riding the train. I don’t get the point of this? It’s just a bunch of penguins riding the train [cricket, cricket, cricket] What?
So what I’m gonna do, is get to the bottom of this. First, what I did is traveled to Antarctica on a tramp steamer hijacked under my authority by a gaggle of C-grade Yugoslavian mercenaries.
Then, we kidnapped 500 penguins and submitted them to enhanced interrogation techniques developed in concert with a grizzled KGB veteran, a Hollywood mood coach, and the San Diego zoo.
Then, … [blinks hard]
Oh, so, ah, [shuffles papers] anyways, hi there, the ah, the WordPress told me my last post about the Spelling Bee fiasco was this degenerate blog’s 500th post. I had no idea. 500 is a big number. I’m quite certain only about 37% of these posts meant anything. The remainder were probably angry, or nonsense, or incoherent.
Eh, whatever, it is what it is. [throws confetti; blows kazoo] For those who are here, especially those of you who’ve been here for quite a while. Thanks for reading. I hope you get something out of your time here.
But, still, I remain: I’m so, so sorry you’re here.