Category Archives: History

by - 0 comments

Trust the gun wielding goon with your freedom, what could go wrong?

I have this idea of a bunch of drunk cavemen leaders discussing whether or not to establish an army to liquidate the residents of a neighboring cave. They vote to do it. Then the next morning the leaders all wake up to find the general they elected to command their new cave army has launched a coup. He beheads them all and then doesn’t attack the neighboring cave after all.

Who needs an army anyways? Well, I guess Ukraine, probably Vietnam, and all those Baltic states who will soon become Russian provinces while NATO discusses what minor tool of Putin to sanction. But mostly, I think the planet’s countries don’t need armies. Throughout history, most armies only battle their own people. I’m certain we’ve got more coups than wars on the books.

Why has Thailand needed an army since 1932? They’ve had twelve coups. But the only times it was really needed against say Imperial Japan or to hedge Communist Vietnam, they never really fought. So by my count the only battle the Thai army has ever truly engaged in was against its own people. Maybe the Thai should only have cops instead. It’d be safer that way.

But it was rather comical to see the fools at the US State Department twist their words in a manner befitting a hack of Putin. As they walked around whether or not the army’s actions earlier this week amounted to a coup. I guess thousands of guys on the city streets with machine-guns is a training exercise?

Whatever. Don’t be too hard on them. They’re interested in preserving US influence in Thailand, regardless of who’s in charge. We don’t possess a US State Department interested in supporting US values. That’s weak ass stuff. Imposing your values across the world by any means is for jerks like Putin who actually care about things.

But fortunately those seeking clarity of the situation when clarity already existed were nicely assisted by history’s latest caveman asshole: General Prayuth Chan-ocha, Self-Appointed Dictator & Overlord of the Thai People. When in doubt, as always, trust the guy who’s serious enough to put guns on the street.

But it’s okay, the US is on the case. Secretary Kerry has warned of “negative implications for the U.S.-Thai relationship”. Ah, I see. I once again refer Secretary Kerry to his outstanding performance with the Ukraine crisis and remind him that people generally look at what you’ve done to determine whether you’re a serious man. If I was the good general, would take any threat Kerry offers seriously?

One Shirt, Two Shirt, Red Shirt, Yellow Shirt, whatever. Both sides are at fault in why Thai governance has been a basket case for a decade. These guys make Africa’s best kleptocrats look like freaking masters of the human race. Hey, at least Mugabe can keep things somewhat moving, even if he’s still having folks beat in back alleys. I’m pretty sure Mugabe’s got less automatic weapons on the streets of Harare today than Bangkok does.

But you know who’s not going to improve Thailand’s situation? The army. So whatever their motives, they’ve now further sent their country into the drink. The good general says he’s there to “return peace and order to the country as soon as possible”. They all say that. Some of them might even mean it. Maybe the general actually means it? But even if he does, he clearly doesn’t know anything about history. If you know history, you can already call how well this one’s going to work out. Bet money on it.

normal street corner

Well, at least the guy on the right isn’t laying a pool of blood; I guess that’s something; I guess

by - 1 Comment

Want to keep schoolgirls safe? Shoot them in the head.

We all want girls everywhere to receive extensive education. The problem is some men (not real men) are in the business of ending girl’s education because they want to live in the year 300. If you’re reading this blog, you probably think this is a bad idea. And so you desire a fair and equitable solution to ensure girls everywhere get what’s their right. Well, here’s your answer:

Shoot them in the head.

Either those men (not real men). Or the girls. Your choice. You have to pick one. Sorry.

Malala Yousafzai was shot in the head by the Pakistani Taliban for the unconscionable crime of promoting literacy. She now tours the world advancing this cause. She’s got more balls than 95% of the male politicians in Pakistan. But unfortunately, what she’s doing barely matters.

There are millions of girls in Pakistan that wake up every day with the reality that their school could end before sundown. Yousafzai is an international star, but the Pakistani Taliban remains. The situation is the same across the border in Afghanistan. A resilient Taliban has among its broad goals a return to their enlightened days where learning how to conduct basic math was an insult to their honor (not real honor).

And in keeping with these delightful themes is Boko Haram. They have an equally emphatic goal to burn down schools and eliminate knowledge. It’s even their name. Like Yousafzai, the abducted girls of Nigeria are now a global cause. Like Yousafzai, nothing substantial is going to come from it.

The various Taliban factions, Boko Haram, and so on, all have one thing in common. They are all lunatics. You can negotiate with them all you want, but they’re not going to change their minds. When a belligerent psychopath produces a moral and physical threat to your values, and is beyond reason, you’re left with two options:

a) Ignore them

b) Shoot them in the head

For years, the world chose option (a) with regards to Boko Haram. Despite all the noise of the last week, I assure you, the planet is still choosing option (a). Want to save these girls? Don’t login to a computer program unless you’re prepared to advocate for option (b). Want to support Yousafzai’s cause? Lobby for option (b).

You hate the idea of Western “boots on the ground”. You despise war. You are the first to shout at the West when it throws its weight around in the world like a “bully”. You wouldn’t pay $4 a year in extra taxes if it meant funding a UN force in Nigeria. But you’ll get onto Twitter and tweet your support for the girls all day. Sorry, you can’t have it both ways.

If you do not choose option (b), you are accepting that you don’t really care. In this case, don’t bother speaking your mind about “your girls”. You’re just a hypocrite who likes to support causes for a while. Until you don’t care anymore, or move onto the next trendy cause that has your support for exactly twelve calendar days.

1) Push your local representative to get a UN or AU force on the ground in northeastern Nigeria. Then push for them to establish an international offensive force to comb the bush until every Boko Haram zealot is shot in the face.

2) Push your local representative to keep a small Western footprint in Afghanistan. Then push for them to make sure that Western footprint enables the Afghani security forces to comb the mountains until every Taliban is shot in the face.

3) Push your local representative to pressure Pakistan to mount offensives into Yousafzai’s homeland until every Pakistani Taliban is shot in the face.

Or, do nothing. Or, don’t care. Or, login to a social media program and generate a bunch of pointless words or hashtags. Any of these will result in more girls getting abducted or shot in the head.

Your call.

girl-school_full_600

Afghanistan circa 2012; a man with a gun will either burn down this school or another man with a gun will keep it safe

#shootevilmenintheface

by - 0 comments

Uncle Vladimir is a winner

We want to be led by a wise & just person right? Somebody who is smart, honest, and has a sense of duty? Maybe we’re on the wrong track. Maybe we need to vote for the asshole that has the power to get things done.

Vladimir Putin is a winner, which is not necessarily to say that his opponents are losers. But certainly Vlad’s adversaries are failures. But I also don’t mean winner in the sense that Vlad’s won a vodka-fueled-bar-brawl, although I’m sure he’d kick somebody ass. By winner, I mean somebody who has the power to enforce their will upon reality. A man who gets things done.

So in this context, you would call Hitler and Stalin winners too, even though they were deliciously-evil, disgusting-human-freaks who ultimately lost. And even when the winner is a Western good guy, don’t try and make them a saint. A true Abraham Lincoln is a once in a millennium occurrence. Think of a guy like Churchill. Churchill was a winner, but he also said and did some very dumb things in his day. But the point is that overall, he got things done.

Look at all of Vlad’s counterparts: Cameron, Merkel, Obama, & Hollande. Everybody’s got their opinion on these folks. In my mind, people have the broader impressions of them all wrong. Everybody wants to mark up Cameron over immigration, Merkel on the Euro crisis, Obama on health care, or Hollande on taxes. Folks, I think in general, you’re all missing the point. Any one issue obscures a singular core problem with all four of them:

They generally don’t get things done.

If you want to argue with me that any of them are getting things done, at least domestically, just comment below or e-mail me and I’ll demolish your argument. For the moment we’re just going to accept that I’m right, because I am, when I say all four of these folks just don’t have it. You could conceivably argue that all four of them are smart, honest, and are propelled by true duty. Yet, they don’t have it, they’re losers.

Vlad has it, he’s a winner. He wanted Crimea, he got it. He wanted a destabilized Ukraine, he got it. He wanted to end this crisis with him firmly in control of future events, and he most certainly has that. Friends, don’t be fooled by the empty suits in the West when they assure you they deflated this crisis via their meek actions. Ukraine does not belong to Russia this morning only because Vlad generally knows when to quit while he’s ahead.

We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again. Love Vlad or hate him (we hate him), you have to at least admire a guy who knows what he wants, generally speaks his mind, and then backs up every single word he says. When in doubt, you bet on the guy you can rely upon. Even if I was a pro-Russian separatist in Donetsk, and Vlad sold me out yesterday by somewhat endorsing national elections? Well, I’d still side with Russia. Because twenty years from now I’d still trust that Vlad, or his appointed successor, would be there for me. Whereas the West will not.

So the question then becomes why the others are such losers. Well, I have three thoughts that come to mind off the top of my head:

– The Media

Essentially, we need to destroy Western media as we know it and start over. Vlad barely cares what the media thinks, or manipulates the message to his own ends by beating the journalists at their own sick game. The era of the sound bite, twenty-four hour news, gotcha questions, and militantly partisan trash is not designed to increase voter awareness. It’s designed to sell advertising.

When one of the most basic arms of a functioning democracy is primarily focused not on keeping government honest, but on selling things, then we have a huge problem. Western leaders are trapped in this cycle. Every decision they make is funneled through the lens of how it will play in this tortured media environment. This does not make for healthy decision making. It does not encourage the kind of risk taking you occasionally require from leaders.

– Politics

More and more, the leaders of the West are professional politicians. They have never done anything else. Cameron, Merkel, Obama, & Hollande at one point did other things, but everything substantial they have ever done in life was a job for or about politics. This establishes a very narrow focus, a worldview that does not conform to reality. They can’t get things done in the real world because they’ve never lived in the real world.

If politics is a game, they are trying to lead as if they are in a game. But the world is not a game, it’s a cruel bitch and they don’t know how to play it. Vlad grew up strangling people in Dresden back alleys for a living. The other four grew up in classrooms or smoke-filled (no longer smoke filled) political back rooms. Vlad had to get things done or he’d get fired or executed. They had to please their political masters with some obscure, unknown political action that nobody cared about or got to see. Pit them against each other in the real world, and we shouldn’t have been surprised at the outcome.

– Apathy

You get the leader you vote for. Nothing about Cameron, Merkel, Obama, & Hollande is generally a surprise to the world. These four turned out roughly as anybody could have predicted if you knew who they were before they were elected. The voters make the call, they bought what they got. The public put four career politicians in charge of their lives. The public also lives with a dirty news media that they still watch and read. The results speak for themselves.

But look at who could replace these four? All four leaders (or big men) of the opposition are exactly the same. Miliband, Steinbruck, Boehner, and Cope are all cut from the same cloth. They all have their hard core supporters, but the overall problem is just apathy. Apathy as in the eight folks on offer to lead the West are all the same. They don’t get things done. And nobody seems to care. Put Miliband, Steinbruck, Boehner, or Cope in charge tomorrow, and nothing, I mean nothing truly changes.

As a reminder, Vlad is an elected leader. The election was rigged, but even if Russian elections were free and fair, he’d still win. The Russian people picked a winner, the West picked losers. Take that as your basis, and a lot of what’s happening in the world today really makes sense.

vlad_may_parade

One successful leader, aware of history, propelled by action, adored by his people

by - 0 comments

Apparently, your local business hates money

Everybody says customer service is dead. No, they’ve exhumed the body, burned it, shot it in the head, and then walked away without reburial. Maybe it’s always been like this? Perhaps two-thousand years ago folks were experiencing the same frustration as I?

All I need is to have three-figures worth of work done on my hovel. I can’t do it myself because I’m not a master plumber. And I’m also an idiot. It’s simple, but requires an expert. Yet after a month of trying to get over a dozen potential companies involved, I have no reasonable estimates in hand. None. I’m not trying to get my plumbing to spit gold leaf. I just need like two hours worth of work done.

Last night I mentioned these facts to my exiled guests, who were heavily intoxicated. They agreed that this was probably a longstanding human trait, and for whatever reason, agreed to help me investigate trends throughout history. They have a room they keep only for themselves. I don’t go in there because I value my dogs’ safety. So twice during the evening, one of them walked into that room, and then emerged with a tale. They claimed they observed these stories via “confrontational destructive time travel” in an attempt to “watch you scum in your proper primitive state”.

 

– Luoyang, circa 173

Customer: Good afternoon Sir, I’d like to have my iron dagger repaired. The hilt has become damaged in an unfortunate accident.

Proprietor: Ah, let me take a look. … Yes, yes, well I might be able to get to it in about three weeks or so.

Customer: Uh, do you think you could get to it a little sooner? I need it to stay alive. The latest bout of eunuch inspired intrigue has made this a rough town recently.

Proprietor: Hey, I’m a busy man, I get to it when I get to it. You’re not the only one with ongoing issues.

Customer: Could you go a little faster? Can we work something out?

Proprietor: Listen jerk, I work for a living, what do you do?

Customer: Work for a living.

Proprietor: Two and a half weeks, that’s the best I can do.

Customer: Well, maybe I’ll take my business somewhere else.

Proprietor: Yeah, you go ahead, I don’t care, nobody else does my work.

Customer: You’re insane, there’s like six weapons stalls in this alley alone.

Proprietor: Hey! Kiss my ass buddy, who do you think you are anyways?

Customer: Okay, see you later.

Proprietor: Yeah, fuck you, fuck your mother.

 

– Rome circa 249

Customer: Good morning Sir, I’d like to have some work done on my household plumbing.

Proprietor: I don’t do that kind of work, ask somebody else.

Customer: Your shingle shows you’re a plumber?

Proprietor: Yeah, but I don’t do that, I’ve got other stuff to do.

Customer: But you were recommended by a respectable knight of the empire I know.

Proprietor: Hey, you don’t tell me what I do, okay buddy? I don’t want to work on your pipes.

Customer: Okay, I’ll just go hire somebody else I guess.

Proprietor: No, no, wait, so sorry, bad fish this morning, ah, how about next Tuesday between high sun and late sun. I come by and check it out? Maybe it’s an aqueduct transfer problem?

Customer: I’ll have to check with my overlord and see if I can get off then?

Proprietor: What? You Gaul pig, what are you talking about? I can only be there around noon. You’ll be there.

Customer: I need to work too, I make sandals for the guy. It’s hard work but pays fairly well.

Proprietor: No, I need to work, on your pipes. You’ll be there because that’s when I’ll be there. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Customer: Can’t you come by in the early evening, after I get back from work? That’d be better for my schedule. It would take you five minutes to look at it. Then, if we decide to do business, I can take off work later.

Proprietor: [throws chair] Get the fuck out of my shop pig! Get the fuck out of here!

 

So I was delightfully amazed at how similar my experiences were to those of two ancient empires. I loved the tales, and felt a lot better that it wasn’t just our time that had degenerated into insanity. I bought into this as reality, and thanked my guests for their kind acts.

But then they all started laughing, laughing so hard they started to cry. I’d of course been had. They can’t travel through time, nobody can. Who knew? Not me, not at all. So then they beat me with a discarded windshield wiper for four hours so I would remember to be less gullible in the future. I doubt it’ll work. And in any case, they’ll just find another reason to beat me, it’s their thing.

Anyways, apparently, my local plumbers just hate money. Because they certainly don’t want mine, or anybody else’s as far as I can determine. Here are just a few examples of the inexplicable behavior I’ve observed over the last few weeks:

– The inability to return a phone call

– Telling me on the phone that they don’t do the work their website says they do

– Not returning a call for two weeks, and then calling multiple times in one morning, and leaving belligerent voicemails about how I won’t answer my phone

– They schedule a firm appointment, I schedule time off with work, but then they call back one hour later and say they made the appointment in error and need to reschedule

– They don’t understand why I have to check with my work to be at home during normal working hours, and get loudmouthed when I ask if they can come late afternoon or on the weekend. You see, they say, they don’t work outside of normal working hours. I guess they expect nobody works except them?

– Calling inside the active four hour window of the appointment, after I already took off work, and saying they can’t make it, and then getting angry when I refuse to reschedule

– When actually on site, refusing to listen to what I need, and instead proposing hair-brained, expensive solutions that have nothing to do with the problem at hand

So there you go, live the dream. By the way, that’s seven different, independent companies right there. That’s not one company doing multiple stupid things. Most of them got great reviews online. This tells me, like most things, that online reviews are rigged. There’s more, but I’m tired. Like I said, I’ve tried about a dozen guys. At this point, I’m probably just going to bash my pipes with a bat and see if that somehow solves the problem. I mean why not? What could go wrong?

So if you run a business, and you can somehow not do the seven things I’ve listed above? Then friends, lucky you, because it means you’re ahead of a least 95% of your competitors. Let it ride.

super-mario-brothers-06-s

At this point, I’d hire these assholes to do the work because at least one of them is motivated to accomplish things

by - 0 comments

For once, let’s embrace the power of cash to save us all

We’ve all heard of the American Dream. The Communist Party has recently promoted the idea of the Chinese Dream. Well, what about the Human Dream? In a better world, we’d like to believe our values are universal. That at our best, we are all mostly the same. We are unique and special in our own ways, but at our core we’re joined in the same good, basic nature.

Now contrast this with the idea of the Arcturan Dream. In their universe things are slightly different. Here, you can start with nothing and make something of yourself. There, you can start with nothing and make nothing of somebody else. Here, you can use your talent and spirit to create something new, something people really want or need and thus enrich their lives. There, you can use your talent and spirit to destroy something old, something people really wanted or needed and thus ruin their lives.

The difference between these two constructs isn’t just the brutally unhinged view of a bunch of degenerate grizzled Arcturan exiles. It’s a variation between two choices, two ways we can roll forward as a planet. Believe it or not, I know this might shock some of you, but a lot of folks on this floating rock are committed to the Arcturan view of our future.

If you read yesterday’s post, you’d think that’s where my brain usually is. I guess you’re right, but every once and a while I have hope that by 2090, we’re somehow okay. It comes from the most random of places. To give you an idea how random, and as a window into just how bizarre and unbalanced my brain is, today’s optimism comes from Alibaba’s plan to go public. Wait, what? Hold on, don’t click away just yet, allow me to explain things in a coherent (nonsensical) manner. Even though explaining anything at the moment is rather difficult. One of them has an Arcturan bolt pistol to the back of my head while I type. They do it for fun, it’s their thing. Don’t ask why, the explanation takes like six hours and you come away fearing your own shadow.

So for those of you focused on what Lady Gaga’s next pathetic attention-seeking costume is, Alibaba is a Chinese internet company similar to Amazon or EBay. Except that in terms of scale, it blows them both away combined. Now I always try and avoid sounding like one of those smart (stupid) folks who always start off a story about China by shouting just how big it is, but just so we’re clear, Alibaba’s really freaking big.

Alibaba sold $248B worth of stuff last year. Amazon did $74B. Bloomberg offers a neat comparison: “Amazon makes less than a penny for every dollar in revenue, while Alibaba makes about 43 cents.”

Friends, they have a customer base of over one-billion people and they’re already making this kind of money. Plus, Chinese consumers have only jumped into the online shopping arena in the last few years. There are hundreds-of-millions of potential online Chinese shoppers who’ve yet to try.

So Alibaba is going to take this success and list publicly in America. This share sale is likely to be among the biggest in history and raise billions. The business community is beginning to talk of Alibaba making its mark as a truly global company. But why are they listing in America? Why not Hong Kong or Shanghai? So here then, we get to the point of why I really care.

Now I don’t know anything about anything. And I certainly don’t know much about stocks, finance, or business. But I’m going to take a guess here when I say that it’s because Alibaba does not believe a China based exchange provides them the best circumstances to operate and expand their business. Put simply, Alibaba doesn’t trust the Chinese system.

Jack Ma lived what the Communist Party considers the Chinese Dream. He didn’t grow up in rags, but when you take a five-figure loan and turn it into one of the world’s most successful companies in a little over a decade, I think you can say he’s made it on raw talent. He’s now one of the richest guys on the planet.

Now granted, he has to play in the Chinese system, so I’m sure he’s not as clean as I’d like to believe, but broadly speaking this is a guy you can probably embrace as living the way you’d want. He isn’t a guy who earned this by stealing peasant farmland and selling it to developers. He doesn’t make knock-off products or poisoned food and then bribe corrupt officials to get away with it. He didn’t get here by having people strangled in a back alley in Hangzhou, I think.

He’s also saying and doing things you’d normally consider virtuous. Now he could just be padding his image prior to the public offering, or lying his ass off like a cutthroat politician, but when one of the richest and most powerful guys in China is offering things like this, it’s time to pay attention:

“In China, because of problems in water, air and food safety, in 10 or 20 years we will face a lot of health problems, like increased cancer … My second focus is people’s culture and education – if we don’t do this then young Chinese people will grow up with deep pockets but shallow minds.”

“The most fun part of business, at least to me, is to contribute to the future. It’s not just about making money – it’s about making healthy money, enabling people to enjoy their lives. I think the important thing is to wake people up and let them know that our environmental issues need to be addressed.”

“Somebody has to do something … Our job is to wake people up.”

Now some of this same verbiage is coming from the mouths of Communist Party officials, but what if Ma actually means it? Whereas I’m pretty sure the Communist Party does not. When you combine Ma’s background, his stated vision for the future, and such a blatant “fuck you” to the Reds by not listing his baby on their regulated exchanges? Well, friends, this gets me a little giddy.

What I hope for is that down the road, a Chinese man or woman will have the opportunity to enjoy the freedoms and liberties that I do. If you don’t believe in these universal values for all humans, I understand and respect your opinion, but you’re just flat out wrong. So in this forum, it’s about how China gets there. Not if, but when.

Most go by the assumption that if China will get to that level of freedom it’s going to be bottom-up generated. As in via a new people’s revolution or something like 1989 redux. I just don’t see this happening. The Communist Party controls the streets too tightly. Everybody remembers East Germany right? They had some insane ratio of citizens to internal security members. One of my lifelong friends once commented that the Stasi had so many folks on their pay they were “watching dogs and fire hydrants”.

It’s the same in China. The People’s Armed Police has a larger budget than the armed forces. They’re just simply not going to allow bottom-up changes in any capacity. Now you’ll say, if East Germany had that level of security, and they were destroyed from the street, why not China? Because when in doubt, the Communist Party would resort to the expenditure of ammunition before they’ll let things collapse.

The People’s Armed Police is willing to shoot folks in the streets whereas the East German forces were not. Syria has shown the dictators of the world how you solve revolutions. You exit the situation with unbridled amounts of gunfire against your own people. What’s the world going to do about it? Sanction Red China? The planet’s economy would collapse. And we can’t even do anything about Syria, let alone something dramatic in China.

If China’s going to change, it’s going to be top-down. It has to begin there, even if it does ultimately end on the street. It’s going to have to start with guys like Jack Ma. Men and women who have lived, tasted, and know what it means to be successful outside the blanket of the Party. Folks who are committed to a bright future for their country, and also have the money and power to do something about it. I truly hope he’s for real.

So here’s hoping Alibaba blows it away. That they make Facebook and Twitter’s recent offerings look like amateur hour. And more importantly, here’s hoping Ma uses the container-ship-full-of-cash and power he’s about to earn and turns it into a weapon for the light. Tools for a dream tomorrow for China. For his home.

jack-ma-alibaba

If he means what he says, he has the power to become one of the most remarkable men in history

by - 0 comments

Thoughtless denial is delightful to watch

Some things just don’t work. Square shaped wheels went out of style five thousand years ago. You can’t go buy a shoe that’s made out of lit matchsticks. Trying to brush your teeth with a live squirrel will result in an unfavorable outcome.

Yet, in the finest of human traditions to generally never give up on anything, some folks just can’t respond to reality. And so, for whatever reason, I was rather surprised to hear there’s still an active Communist Party USA:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26126325

Is there still a Nazi Party USA? I mean, not the Klan or some other poser gang, but the real Nazi Party USA? Like back in the Thirties when they marched in uniform? I’m afraid the NSA, my mistress, and the Wall Street Journal are monitoring my internet. So I’m not going to search for “Nazi Party USA” in my browser. Either that or I’m just lazy. Either way, I have no idea if they still exist too.

Anyways, even after over a century of abject economic failure, several bouts of wildly fun genocide, and generally just laughable outcomes there are apparently three-thousand Americans who, for whatever reason, still believe in a future that will never exist. Chairman Sam Webb, yeah, he’s actually called Chairman, says:

“The longer-term goal”, says Webb, is “the communist society, the ending of all class divisions, a society of equality, the withering away of the state”.

In other words Chairman Webb believes in witchcraft and the ability to completely alter human nature at the genetic level. Good for him. It’s beneficial to have ambitions in life, even if they’re less achievable than going to the Moon with your car, drunk, before lunch.

Even the world’s former Red A-Team have all woken up to how the universe works. Depending on how you measure things, Russia, China, and Cuba are probably more capitalist than half the capitalist world. And our North Korean friends, well, there’s no political ideology associated with an oligarchy that rules things in a manner that even Stalin would find “rather aggressive”.

I also don’t understand why the BBC is talking to these folks? With only 3K members it means the Reds have less activity than the Handweavers Guild of America. But the real question you should be asking yourself is why am I talking about why the BBC is talking about the Communists? Look, don’t ask me hard questions friends, you’ll just get scared by the creepy, bizarre responses.

I guess I’m just fascinated at why a free thinking human would offer their time and money for something like this. I guess the only conclusion I can draw is that people are idiots. Now we’re all morons, I know I am, but these guys are at the outer edge. Good for them, it’s neat to be the best at certain things.

And also I think it’s that humans are happy to be a part of something, drawn to an idea, a history. Even if your cause is the worst Earth concept since inviting a bunch of treacherous, grizzled Arcturan exiles into your home? Well, it’s still a cause, and we all need a purpose in life.

So I guess, work hard you Red bastards. Too many of us are doing nothing. At least you’re doing something.

sad_folks

The saddest boardroom on the planet since Netscape circa 1999

by - 0 comments

Our anger will steal our freedom

The Sterling matter has reached a level of intensity and fury that renders me almost speechless. You could write books on this insanity. Why are people so upset about something that was so clearly on display well before last week? Why do so many regard this as important when there are so many other issues that actually count? And the one thing that really scares me, why is the public so unaware of the danger we incur by destroying this man?

By any reasonable definition, what Sterling said is abhorrent. It goes against the values that make our society great. But you know what else makes our culture great? The right to say pretty much whatever you want. Without freedom of speech we cannot have freedom of thought. Without freedom of thought we are intellectually doomed and our liberty will evaporate.

The entire furious and widespread arm of our media and culture set out to annihilate Sterling for words he said, in private, to his mistress, over the phone. Now a number of you will say that he’s not a true private citizen. Nobody made him buy a basketball team. If he wants to own an NBA franchise he’d better behave himself, otherwise it’s the right of the citizenry to remove him from his ownership when he behavior goes outside the norm. I say that’s complete, destructive, nonsense.

Show me the law that Sterling has broken? His words were disgusting, but they are just words, and he’s allowed to say them. Society might find those words offensive, but that doesn’t give civilization the right or responsibility to remove him from the planet. The sanctity of our liberty is more important than punishing the hatred of one twisted old man. For those of you who still don’t understand what I’m saying, take these two examples:

– What if an NHL owner was caught on tape telling his mistress that those who support abortion rights are “worse than scum, murderers” and then pro-abortion groups mobilized their entire political and financial resources to destroy that owner

– What if a MLB owner was caught on tape telling his mistress that those who oppose Obamacare’s implementation are “worse than scum, murderers” and then anti-Obamacare groups mobilized their entire political and financial resources to destroy that owner

Do you see how this goes, where it can lead? Where does it stop? It stops with you being unable to speak your mind, express yourself, even in private. The same laws, traditions, and rights that guide freedom of speech for a basketball owner, apply to you.

We all became livid when we learned the NSA had the capability, authority, and intent to listen and record every single word we spoke or typed. Think that’s awful? Just wait until you live in a world where the NSA still does that, but society and the media are also listening, waiting for you to say something that’s offensive to somebody, and then crush you. You’d never be free again.

tj

This fine gentlemen believes Sterling is a “right-honorable-shit” but would back him in on the street and in court

by - 0 comments

Those ancient dudes have some good stuff to say

Tis the season to think about the deeper things in life. No, it’s not election time, or random-mandated-corporation-gift-giving-occasion, or even your birthday. Or maybe it is your birthday, in which case, happy birthday, you’re one year closer to the joys of the drink.

But even considering the date, I think it’s generally good to ponder your place in the world. At least a little. I mean you don’t have to get wrapped around it to the point that you end up hiding under some coats in a dark closet, giggling. But it’s still something to contemplate. Particularly since tomorrow you could cash-out in a horrific maritime accident.

By the way, I imagine statistically speaking that you’re now about six-hundred times more likely to die at sea as you are in the air. So take it from a guy who used to do that for a living. When you’re on something that floats you should:

a) Always be wearing a lifejacket or at all times know where the closest one is

b) Always know where the nearest exit is to reach daylight and how to get there, in the pitch dark, or with your eyes closed

c) Make sure those you are with know these things too, challenge each other, ask questions, and have a plan

d) If you find (a) through (c) too tedious, don’t go to sea, even for a ride

Anyways, so I’ve been reading a lot lately. I go in spurts. Sometimes I read nothing. Other times I’m a total loser (that is, more than usual) locked up in my hovel with my dogs, a book, and beer. So I came upon a good passage the other day from a real classic.

So there’s this Xerxes guy. He’s on his way to conquer the world because it’s there. He’s real good at it. So were his father and their ancestors. He’s crossing continents and has a few things to say.

Oh man, how much better is this actual text than the verbal mess of an exchange we saw between Rodrigo Santoro and Eva Green in 300? As they yack it up next to the bridges like actors trapped in a historical (not historical) movie.

Now don’t get me wrong. I had a good time with 300 Round Two, but the original was much better. And also closer to the truth of what occurred. I’ve got a lot to say about these two flicks, which will probably come in a later post, I guess. Maybe?

But friends, generally truth isn’t just stranger than fiction, it’s also better:

When he saw the whole Hellespont covered with ships, and all the shores and plains of Abydos full of men, Xerxes first declared himself blessed, and then wept.

Artabanos perceived this, he who in the beginning had spoken his mind freely and advised Xerxes not to march against Hellas. Marking how Xerxes wept, he questioned him and said, “O king, what a distance there is between what you are doing now and a little while ago! After declaring yourself blessed you weep.”

Xerxes said, “I was moved to compassion when I considered the shortness of all human life, since of all this multitude of men not one will be alive a hundred years from now.”

Artabanos answered, “In one life we have deeper sorrows to bear than that. Short as our lives are, there is no human being either here or elsewhere so fortunate that it will not occur to him, often and not just once, to wish himself dead rather than alive. Misfortunes fall upon us and sicknesses trouble us, so that they make life, though short, seem long.

Life is so miserable a thing that death has become the most desirable refuge for humans; the god is found to be envious in this, giving us only a taste of the sweetness of living.”

So Xerxes has everything a human could ever ask for in women, riches, power, women, and prestige. The only thing he lacks in life is heavy infantry. Which unfortunately for him, becomes a real problem a few months later. But he’s still having trouble figuring out how to play in this shitty-cruel-bitch of a life that we all lead. So what does that tell you? If this guy has it all, and can’t always get it done, then don’t be too hard on yourself. Just try and enjoy the ride.

Now you may be tempted to respond to my nonsense by throwing up your hands and screaming: “This is bullshit!” Or, “Fuck you, who cares?” Or, “Wait, what is this shit, why am I here wasting my time reading this?!” And thus your solution is to never read this blog again (a smart idea) or to become a mindless bank robbing asshole. Because, you know, why not? The bank’s not going to rob itself. And if life is shit, you might as well roll the dice, right? But the problem with that line of thinking is bank robbery is less worth it nowadays. I think you have an 85% change of getting caught and your average take is like $7K or something. That’s not even enough to buy one-third of your average family car.

So what then? Panic? Burn the world? Melt your mind with chemicals? Well, how about this, I read this a few days back too:

Wash, make yourselves clean. Take your wrong-doing out of sight. Cease doing evil.

Learn to do good, search for justice, discipline the violent, be just to the orphan, plead for the widow.

Sounds good enough to me. Let’s go with that.

Enjoy it while you can. Try your best. It’s a hell of a hard ride, but remember how lucky we all are that we’re here at all. And do your best to earn it.

300-Rise-of-an-Empire-Hellespont-bridge-HR

Oh my. I’m so fucking awesome. Gaze upon my eighth wonder of the world. But shit, what I wouldn’t pay for just five thousand armored infantry. Anybody got a phone? I’ve got to make some calls. Fuck.

by - 0 comments

It’s time to incinerate a core evil

It’s become more about money than freedom. If history goes in cycles, we’re at a tipping point to a new era. Our direction depends on the course we take as a people.

What’s changed that gave birth to this pivot? For those of you who actually care who Gwyneth Paltrow is married to, here’s a short lesson. It’s mostly technology, but also that a Western democracy can no longer borrow free money. The computing capacity available to today’s society enables a level of wealth creation unknown to any prior age. The elite then use these super-fortunes to buy influence and control which feeds more treasure to them. This creates an exponential cycle in which those who possess little money and powers are just simply left out. Some folks have begun to talk of a ‘Second Gilded Age’. I’m not so sure about this, I just know we have a huge problem here.

In the seven decades since the end of the Second World War these same conditions existed to some extent. It’s just that technology is so much more powerful today. And a country can’t borrow enough to buy off the lower levels of civilization. The era of guiltless never-ending state borrowing is over. The agreement used to be that the middle-class and poor got benefits provided by the state and said elites. And, here’s the kicker, the opportunity to climb the ladder. If you worked hard, you kept a job, at least partial health care, a decent retirement, and ultimately the chance to make your life and the lives of your children better.

Yet, in a manner few anticipated, this social contract depended upon the state’s ability to constantly borrow money and run a deficit. Those days are over and the state is broke. Thus the state is no longer able to meet its obligations and that leaves only the brilliant-elite. The rich are balking at assuming the state’s end of the bargain. Rightly so, it’s not their job. But people believe it is. And when nobody has enough money to solve the problem, then we have a big problem, friends.

All of this is hard enough to wrap your brains around without the plague inducing impacts of the agreement between the elite factions. Even if they had not cut a deal on their own, we’d still be out of money. But what makes this truly a potential nightmare is the renewed dark alliance between money and power. It’s always been like this to some extent, but this has gotten out of hand.

Your local, state, and federal politicians, who should be figuring out how to prevent your social security from going bankrupt, are too busy doing the bidding of those with money. You don’t have any money, and so you’re not important to them. The political-class is in the business of helping the interests of the sections of business that are shameless & immoral enough to engage in vote buying.

Together, this guild is what I refer to as the elites. This is the section of society that now exists to fuel their own interests, largely at the expense of the rest of us. This group crosses all normal boundaries you can think of. They are Democrat & Republican. They are urban & rural. They are all races. They are male & female. They’ll tell you that they they’re separated into bands that battle each other. They’re lying. They’re all one in the same.

Now not everybody who is a politician or a rich businessman fits into this category. There are entrepreneurs who refuse to play the game. There are politicians who are genuinely interested in doing only good, and don’t give a damn about money. But they are only part of the mix. What’s the ratio between them and the evil I mentioned above? I have no idea, but I know it’s not a ratio we can live with.

To illustrate what I’m talking about, let’s analyze just one issue on the table.

 

brian-roberts-comcast_gi

Your hard earned Cash tastes sweet in my Soul

 

Comcast wants to acquire Time Warner. By any reasonable definition, this gives Comcast a monopoly in many of the major cable & internet markets in the country. This is a product area where Americans already suffer high prices due to a lack of competition.

Comcast CEO Brian Roberts is, of course, no stranger to money in politics. President Obama golfs with Roberts, spends time in his home(s), hosts fundraisers for Obama, sits on various Presidential councils, promotes administrative initiatives, and so on.

But wait, there’s more. Roberts also donates a ton of cash to Republicans too! Now’s he’s donated more to Democrats lately, but maybe that’s just because they’re in power right now. He’s been accused many, many times in the past of being a fervent supporter of Republicans during the Bush years when they had power. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence? Maybe an Arcturan held a bolt pistol to his head and made him play both sides with lots of cash, but I doubt it.

But wait, there’s more. A former Federal Communications Commission (FCC) voting member who approved of Comcast’s merger with NBC Universal, Meredith Attwell Baker, Republican, Bush official, is now a key lobbyist with Comcast. Maybe they just hired her because of her talent and experience? I’m sure it wasn’t to return a favor or anything like that.

But wait, there’s more. Tom Wheeler, the head of the FCC and thus in charge of regulating the deal is a former lobbyist for the cable companies! And a big Obama loyalist and fundraiser. I’m sure he’s all about ruling fairly against the corporations he used to represent. I’m sure he doesn’t owe them any courtesies at all.

But wait there’s more. Comcast has developed a habit of providing campaign cash, “to almost every member of Congress who has a hand in regulating it.” Democrat & Republican. Why, well, for whatever reason would they want to do that?

So, I’ll just assume our benevolent government will fairly and impartially determine whether Comcast’s future monopoly is in the best interests of you, the American consumer, right? Do they really think we’re this stupid? Why yes, friends, yes they do!

Here’s a little hint for those of you who are only interested in having your political party, social project, or defining issue win: The elites are playing you all for fools. There is no side, there is only them. And if you’re not them, you’re not important.

Maybe you still don’t understand, or disagree with, what I’m talking about. Okay, let’s look at the most basic tenant of a functioning democracy. Do you, the average voter, have access to the politicians who represent you?

You vote for them, they work for you. A politician is your employee. As their boss, you should be able to interact with them, right? Wrong. Because you don’t have money, they don’t care what you think. Observe this truly brilliant experiment from NPR:

http://www.npr.org/2014/03/26/294361018/how-to-meet-your-congressman

I can’t solve all of this in one blog post. Indeed, I’m not smart enough to solve this at all. But it’s time to begin the assault by detonating the most pervasive trait of today’s money: the theft of our freedom. We must get the elite’s cash separated from politics. Thus I propose two broad solutions as a start.

 

houseoffice

A place where Dreams are Broken

 

– Political Finance Reform

Now a number of you are going to blow this off outright based upon your beliefs. Oh, how fervent the opposition was to campaign finance reform. A lot of you are going to claim that supporting this is tantamount to opposing free speech. Oh, really?

Here’s the problem, kids. Free speech in terms of influencing the political debate does not exist. Instead, we have impact of speech. The impact of your speech is directly proportional to how much money you have. If you have no money, you have no impact.

Note that I also say political reform and not just campaigns. It does us no good if we fix money in campaigns, but then the elites can still buy votes with fancy trips and gifts after somebody is elected. And both “sides” need to ante up to this correction. Corporations, unions, business, environmentalists, everybody’s got to get out of the game of influencing our lives based upon how much cash they bring to the table.

– Transparency

And we need to know who’s doing it. Technology has enabled control to an extent unthinkable to those who built our republic. We need to harness its power to fight back. We need databases that show where money and politics align. These treasure troves of sin should be required for open access to the public.

Every dollar that goes into a campaign needs visibility. If we don’t know who bankrolled a guy, we can’t honestly assess whether his or her actions, once elected, aren’t influenced to the benefit of one over the many. A few of you are going to tell me this is awful because it gives government the power to retaliate against those who give money to the side that lost. That’s a valid concern, but a separate issue. Blatant political retaliation is not necessarily about money. If the government wants you, they can get you all kinds of different ways.

If a politician meets with a corporation and then writes a letter demanding action on their behalf, they’re on report. If a politician talks with a rich guy in a bar, they’re on report. If a politician goes to visit a business, they’re on report. And so on. If politicians don’t like micromanaging & reporting their lives this way, then don’t run for office. You work for us, we don’t trust you, and so we’ll monitor you like a boss monitors a degenerate employee.

If it’s all legal, if it’s all part of the normal activities of government, then the people who government represents have a right to know about it. And then we can judge for ourselves if these actions are legitimate. If it’s all above board, they have nothing to hide. If they’re up to no good, we must know and take appropriate measures.

 

capitol-in-1800

They had money problems too, but also Honor & Duty

 

The great comedian, social & political commentator, Bill Hicks has a number of swell lines. You can love Bill or hate him. He had a lot to say that pissed people off. This is kind of why I favor him. Even as I agree with a lot of what he said, I also despise a lot of the rest. By the way, he knew this. It was his point. Either way, he died well before his time. Here’s my favorite from him:

“It’s all about money, not freedom, y’all, okay? Nothing to do with fuckin’ freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without fucking money, okay?”

Now granted, Bill might have meant you can’t take a bus somewhere and check into a hotel room without cash. But I suspect he really meant something along the lines of what I’m talking about here today.

Igniting this core of evil and dancing upon its shattered grave is going to be very hard. Everybody in power has a vested interest in its continuance. So we need to work the problem together. If we don’t, our freedom’s destroyed forever. This isn’t a right, left, east, north, whatever, “side” thing. This is an “Our Freedom” thing. Gather your fireworks, matches, and booze, friends. It’s well past time to detonate this hateful disease from our way of life.

by - 0 comments

Ignoring history has become too common

Everybody hates history.  It’s boring, most people who teach it are weird, it has almost no practical value toward our daily lives, and if you believe all of these things you’re in the majority.  That doesn’t mean you’re right.  Ignorance of history is also a poison to a culture.

In my opinion, one of the major common themes of a destroyed civilization is the absence of any understand of its history.  Do you think the drunk, rich assholes in Rome had any idea how hard it was to build their Empire right before Attila instructed them on the ways of the universe?

I could write ten pages on this topic, but I’m here today to raise one point that recently came to mind.  Twelve Years a Slave has won the Oscar for best picture.  They say it’s pretty good.  I haven’t seen it, but maybe I will later.  Perhaps just because it’s the elite thing to see it, I refuse to.

What really irks me is one of the greatest compliments people (idiots) hoist upon the movie’s shoulders is how it (my summary) exposes the rotten, intrinsically evil, founding principles of America.  I have no idea if this is what the movie’s creators intended, usually the audience can interpret whatever they want, but it’s what a lot of individuals are saying.  Folks who have no conception of their own history are happy to clap for a movie that informs them their heritage came from Satan.  Wow, that really makes me want to see the movie and enjoy it.

It’s easy to hate what you don’t understand.  The country was certainly founded with a great evil in slavery.  But the Founding Fathers knew this.  Just read Adams, Washington, Jefferson, and you quickly learn they all were well aware of what they were doing.  If you’ve learned anything on this blog it’s that life is a cruel bitch.  You do the best you can.  They made mistakes, and they certainly also made compromises.  In the end, they still created a very beautiful thing.  Maybe if your ancestors were under the whip you don’t see it that way, but I hope you at least understand where I’m coming from.  As I certainly understand where you’re coming from.

What bothers me the most in this conversation is that there was also a cleansing act in history that people ignore.  It’s called the American Civil War.  The Founding Fathers left this very stark issue for their grandchildren to address.  When people bring up the movie, they forget to mention that just a few years after the events of the movie took place, the country blew up.  If slavery was our founding sin, we paid for it in righteous blood.  One out of every thirty Americans died in this war.  The equivalent number in today’s population is ten million people.  It didn’t necessarily end there, just ask MLK’s ghost, but it was a start.

Two of my ancestors shed their blood on the battlefield to free the slaves and preserve America.  Don’t tell me we’re founded and sustained upon sin.  We’re human, we’ve made horrible mistakes.  But we’ve made up for them with great, virtuous acts.  We have a long way to go, but that’s history’s context too.  Compared to losing ten million on the battlefield, I assure you, we can make it all so much better together, hand-in-hand.  But we’re not going to get there listening to people who are stuck in the past, when they don’t understand the past.

So do me a favor you elite assholes.  The next time you mention how rotten we all are, at least be willing to tell me you’ve heard of Antietam or Cold Harbor or Fort Wagner or Chickamauga.  If you don’t know what they are?  Then I have no interest in what you have to say about our history.

dayattheoffice

You cannot fathom, my fellow Americans, of how awful it really was.