We can’t build nothing no more

Hey remember when we built those big pyramid things in the desert last June? Don’t they look great? I mean, all that slave labor stuff isn’t neat, but at least the damn things were built to last.

Now we can’t build nothing no more. Everything’s just modern fragile garbage. If I build an apartment block today, it’ll get trashed overnight and in twenty years it’ll look like something out of Minsk Circa 2013.

Or take the new glass walkway over Tower Bridge London. The damn thing’s existed for about six hours and it already broke:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-2847158/Tower-Bridge-glass-walkway-smashed-visitor-dropped-bottle-beer.html

First off, what’s the big deal with this glass walkway fetish anyways? We’ve now got one over the Grand Canyon, in Chicago Willis, inside The Church of the Holy Sepulture over “that place”, at Eiffel, and over Mao’s grave. Seriously, what’s the appeal? I don’t get it?

So you, can, like, look down, and see the ground, from beneath your feet? Way down there? Uh… (furrows brow in a vain attempt to understand the situation) … so, like, what’s, so if, I get vertigo, or imagine I can fall?

You know, if I take a swan dive off Eiffel I get a real neat view of the ground, for about 42 seconds. Why would I desire to replicate this feeling in a non-fatal outcome? Please to explain.

Second off, the article states the bridge glass cracked because, “The dropped bottle of beer caused an initial crack, but a woman walking over the broken glass in stiletto heels reportedly caused the pane to shatter further.”

So what kind of moron idiot do you have to be to design anything in London that is damaged by a broken beer bottle and stiletto heels? That’s like designing a Chicago sidewalk threatened by dropped hot dogs and disgruntled Bears fans’ feet.

Just you wait, the same dude who did the glass bridge is designing the future eighth runway at Heathrow. Expect the tarmac to be vulnerable to airplanes with more than one engine.

tower bridge glass

Even the Pharaoh’s slaves face-palm at this one

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