Wake up, friends! Nothing’s secure! You need a plan.

I keep telling folks but they don’t listen. They think the internet is a delightful playground. Well, sorry, but if it’s online:

It’s going to get stolen

The internet was not designed for security. It was designed for openness. This is its structure at the base level. It’s hard coded. Like you’re hard coded to love puppies.

Don’t listen to people (Apple, Microsoft, anti-virus frauds) who swear they’re so smart you can’t get robbed. Such arrogance is foolish. It’s like somebody telling you they’re so smart they can reengineer the sun’s rays to cool instead of sear your flesh. It makes no sense. Sorry, but nobody can secure your data completely.

You need to think not in terms of what will happen if your data is stolen. You need to think in terms of what you’ll do when it is. I recommend this formula:

 

Item: What’s online

Threat: What can happen to that data

Recourse: What you or somebody else will do when your data is stolen

 

For instance:

 

Item: Your online financial account

Threat: Somebody takes your cash

Recourse: If you’re FDIC insured, you’ll be okay, if not, you’re potentially fucked

 

Item: Your cloud sexual pictures

Threat: Some creepy dude steals them and posts them online

Recourse: You could sue, but essentially you’ll have to deal with it

 

Item: Your credit card

Threat: Somebody takes your number and buys fancy jewels or hats

Recourse: Via your credit card company you get a new card, number, and the offender is flagged as fraud in the credit database

 

Item: Your precious bitcoins

Threat: Your bitcoins just became somebody else’s bitcoins by virtue of their actions

Recourse: You’re fucked

 

Item: Your degenerate, pointless blog

Threat: A bunch of grizzled lunatic alien exiles hijack your blog

Recourse: You meekly accept this outcome as reality

 

Item: Your shopping site account

Threat: Somebody steals your password

Recourse: You change your password

 

See how each of these has a different level of awfulness depending on the importance of the data at hand. There are also different mitigation options available to you on each area. Each piece of data you own online is unique. You need to think about each portion of your online life. How much risk are you willing to take?

If the risk of loss is too high for you to deal with? It needs to come offline.

Because I assure you, nobody can defend it. If somebody targets you, if somebody wants your data, they’re going to get it.

Plan accordingly.

internets

If they’d designed the internet to be secure, it would look absolutely nothing like it does today

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