It’s like watching a lion maul a baby seal

It must be delightful if you’re in league with Satan, to pretty much do whatever you want and laugh at the consequences. Even the most comically evil Bond villain had to contend with, you know, some kind of competent opposition.

I get the feeling that this political, diplomatic, and military struggle is so one sided that Vlad dictates instructions drunk, in a huge bathtub, surrounded by his many naked mistresses, while all his tools nod aggressively in their pristine military and civilian clothing. At least Bond villains had charm. There’s nothing charming about this. It’s just Vlad beating upon the free world with a broken pipe as he foams at the mouth, eyes wide, screaming.

We’ve blogged here before about the baffling behavior of men who possess a distinct inability to think about the future. Maybe I just don’t understand the power of ethnic ties because I possess the blood of about twelve different races in my frail human meatbag body.

Maybe if I was 73% Russian and 27% Ukrainian I’d be on the streets shooting at poor Ukrainian cops alongside FSB agents too. Honestly, I have no idea. But it seems to me that if you had your choice to live under a brutally incompetent Ukrainian government, or a pipe swinging lunatic? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t choose the lunatic.

And meanwhile our all-star limp-wristed Western diplomats toil on in their never-ending quest to prove who’s more useless: them, or their 1914 & 1939 predecessors. I hope the West realizes what this level of weakness is doing to the psyche of the remainder of the world. From Africa, to Syria, to Burma, to Philippines, well, why would anybody throw their lot with the West? They’re not serious like the Iranians, the Chinese, or the Russians. So you go with the cruel asshole because, asshole that he is, at least he’ll have the guts to back you when you need it.

I’m not trying to go overboard here and propose a nuclear exchange or main-battle-tank steel trading in the streets of Donetsk. But if all the West has to offer is minimal personal sanctions against minor Putin flunkies, and to kick them out an international talking shop? Yeah, I’m pretty sure you can just write off Eastern Ukraine. Oh, and our values and souls too.

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These four distinguished future Russian citizens will one day have to meekly explain to their grandchildren why they were so very, very fucking stupid

Apparently, Burger King supports despotism

Oh, how we love all that fancy, tasty cash. Especially if we’re corporate assholes. Then we really, really love all that fancy, tasty cash. Thus a company that enjoys the freedom and justice that gave birth to it is more than happy to acquire money from Ukrainians who’ve just lost their liberty.

Who knew that Burger King was an actual autocratic monarch? I guess they’re a little old fashioned. If a store employee displaces the joy of the manager, they’re beaten with sticks and then have their throats slashed back by the dry bun storage locker. It’s all very medieval.

Hey you know what else is quite medieval? Uncle Vladimir’s conquest of Crimea! So you would think folks would be rather careful in allowing their brand to be associated with Vlad and his recent Glorious Victory. You know, seeing as how he’s the bad guy and is in the process of running circles around the forces of liberty. Probably not the best time to get one up on McDonalds by taking their place in Crimea?

But in a world where gold trumps values, well, go get ‘em! You go get that vacant market opportunity you bastards! Why not? Nobody else has your reach, except McDonalds, and those pansies are too interested in making a statement in favor of justice. Stupid assholes, Burger King lives in the real world. They subscribe to the ancient concept that there are no rules. There are only bags with currency. And Burger King is going to play dirty and get rich, because why not.

Now a number of you will point out that it’s not Burger King’s responsibility to pick and choose. As a business their leadership has a responsibility to increase shareholder rates first. Well, I see your point, but that’s kind of like saying a corporation must be completely amoral. As long as Burger King increases shareholder cash, it’d be okay if their burgers were made out of human flesh.

Now that’s an extreme example, but the context is the same. We don’t allow corporations to do certain things because they’re wrong. Our standards, our morals are more important than raw cash. It’s wrong to blatantly support the theft of freedom just so you can increase your global share price by 0.000453% this quarter.

Now maybe I don’t understand franchising and this is the action of Burger King Russia or some other kind of nonsense. But Burger King got invented in America. I checked their public sites twelve seconds prior to publishing this post. If I was their boss, I’d have been on the news this morning pounding my fist on the table to separate my brand from this evil. They haven’t said a word. Silence is consent, assholes.

Whether you agree with Burger King’s action is up to you. But I say that Burger King supports despotism. From now on, I’m not buying Burger King and will encourage others to do the same. I want to live in a world where values matter. Where the sanctity of our liberty, and the liberty of others, is upheld by all aspects of our society and culture.

We should fight this on the battlefield the corporations respect the most, the cash register. Eventually business will have to learn that behavior that goes against freedom will get punished in the marketplace. Otherwise they’ll keep going until all our liberty is gone and replaced by gold coins. We’ve been there before in medieval times. We’ve evolved past that. I have no interest in going back.

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Abandon hope all ye who enter here

Please don’t shuffle along until you die

We’d all like to believe that regardless of where we come from we can make it. There are literally trillions invested and tens-of-millions of people whose jobs exist to ensure we can climb the ladder. Guess what, friends? It’s all a waste. You’re doomed. Not only is the game rigged, but they’ve stopped pretending you’re even useful, let alone important.

Read the below link so you know what I’m talking. Or don’t read it, I don’t care, many of you might not understand what I’m talking about anyways because I’m a bizarre idiot. Or you’re an idiot. Or maybe we’re both just sleepy. Either way, if the website asks you for money, don’t read it. Jeff Bezos already has more money than Satan. He doesn’t need the 1.4 cents from your click:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/the-recovery-puzzle-a-new-factory-in-ohio-struggles-to-match-jobs-to-job-seekers/2014/04/05/098d53ec-b44e-11e3-8cb6-284052554d74_story.html 

So essentially a corporation wants to open an egg plant in the middle of nowhere and hire forty people with good benefits. The point of the article is they can’t get it done because there is a lack of qualified applicants. These aren’t bad people, they just don’t have the skills and experience necessary to operate and maintain machines that will do the work that people used to.

First off note how a plant that breaks over one million eggs a day only requires forty people to run it. The robots are truly taking over. I have no idea but I assume that fifty years ago the same one million eggs a day capability required ten times as many people.

Remember that all the robot inventors and smart (foolish) experts will tell you that having machines do all our future tasks will liberate society to do other things. So the people in this article who were rejected from the egg plant all get to become artists, writers, and adventurers. Except that they don’t. They’re unemployed and desperate. Here’s what it’s going to look like folks. Don’t let the machine making men fool you. This future of gears, microchips, and tungsten is going to do wonders. But it’ll also be a horror.

Also note that our friend Bernie is supposedly a master at this hiring thing. Unfortunately for him, he’s also can’t seem to understand the very people he’s supposed to employ. Illustrated here is the growing gap between those who have made it in the knowledge economy and those who haven’t. Not only can they not work together, they can’t even relate to one another. Bernie believes in Japanese philosophy that is just as alien to these people as Arcturan battle tactics. Hey Bernie, they don’t care. They’re just trying to make it in this cruel world. You said you eat salad every night. They eat frozen chicken, store bought mac & cheese, and fast food. They’re not stupid people, they’re just not like you, please try and understand.

Thus those who run the knowledge economy have pointed to the importance of getting everybody educated to the point that they can perform. This is the reason for the efforts behind getting everybody through some kind of college. Apparently, attendance at university is going to prepare everybody for the enhanced worker skills necessary to build, operate, and maintain the robots necessary for the egg plant to work. Yet, as we can see here the education system is so broken that we have a substantial portion of society that can’t even fill out a competent resume. This is the most basic of tasks necessary to find work in the knowledge economy. And they can’t do it. Again, they’re not bad people. I just think nobody’s ever properly taught them.

We owe more on defaulted student loans than we have gold on Earth and this is the result? Now you’re going to kindly inform me that college graduates weren’t up for the interviews in this article so it’s not relevant. I substantially disagree. I submit the result would have been the same. Talk to anybody hiring these days and they will delightfully inform you how utterly worthless most young university graduates are.

I suspect the reason is that most degrees are of no use to our modern knowledge economy. So many are taught pointless, worthless subject matter that they’d be of no use in an egg plant just like most of the people in this article. Even allegedly hard core, necessary subjects like science and math fall short.

In theory, I have science degree. And yet twenty days after graduation I took a supervisory job over eighteen scientists and engineers. Anybody want to guess how much of my very expensive, hard worked degree was of practical value? Almost none. I could have studied occult worship and been equally as effective as their boss. I was truly shocked at how worthless it had all been. What did I get other than that blessed check in the block?

We’ve invested trillions in a system of primary, secondary, and university education that doesn’t deliver. The result is you can’t hire forty folks to break eggs anymore. How do we fix this? I think a lot of the growing efforts at apprenticeship and vocational schooling is probably the answer. Forget college, go take an apprenticeship as a plumber. Everybody’s needs water, right? Tell the social studies professor to eat it, go to a vocational school that teaches you how to program industrial robots. We’ll all need lots of robots, right?

My Grandfather was a heavy aircraft mechanic. My Grandmother worked as a librarian. They were so poor they could only go out to eat once a year. And when they did it was to the same small pizza parlor every single year. They did it to welcome spring. But all four of their daughters went to college with degrees in business, medicine, and hard science. What we need is this kind of social mobility. It’s essential if our functioning democracy is to endure. And I fear we either no longer have this or that we soon won’t.

So you’re probably asking why I consider this a good thing when I just got done trashing education. Well, I guess it’s because thirty years ago I think a degree actually meant something. I get the feeling that today’s university is about plush dorms & cool gyms. It’s a business model not designed to distribute educational content, but an experience. Back then the dorms sucked, there was no gym, but they had good classes.

As I grew up and developed the conception of what a job was I was surprised to learn what my Grandfather did. Why? Because in all the pictures of my Granddad he’s wearing a suit, tie, or at the very least a collared shirt. That was how it was done back then. Aircraft mechanics, store clerks, tax men, and so on. It didn’t matter. You got dressed.

Contrast that with the performance and attire of those mentioned in the article. Now granted, I’d commute to work each day in pajamas if they’d let me. And I’ve generally found that appearance and performance are not always equivalent. So I guess I’m not really sure what I’m trying to say here other than that this strikes my brain as a symptom of the larger issue.

Once you’ve got the job maybe jeans and pajamas are okay. But you’ve got to at least prove you can look reasonable. When a substantial portion of society can’t wear one decent set of clothes, show up on time, or hold a conversation then don’t be surprised when a substantial portion of society is permanently unemployed.

Everybody’s failed us. Each political party, social organization, or human entity has a plan to solve these problems. None of them are working. These people want your money or your votes. But you need to ignore most of what they say. They can’t help you even if they truly wanted to. Not because they’re evil people, but because they don’t know you. To them, you’re just a spreadsheet metric. But the guy interviewing you for the egg plant job wants to get to know you.

You’re on your own. Government, education, corporations, social organizations, whatever. You’re on your own. You have to make it as best as you can. Use the resources these aforementioned folks are offering you as necessary when you can. But be skeptical of what they’re extending to you.

It seems to me that as we grow into this newfangled modern world of ours that the further we go, the more we are separated and left to fend for ourselves. All our modern institutions are failing us. Don’t believe even the most dedicated, genuine zealot that there is help out there for you. There is, but they’re not going to fix things for you. They can’t. The problems are too big for them to solve. They’ll fall flat.

Take control of your life. Don’t plod along until you’ve consumed your share of oxygen and then die. Make something of it, fight back, try and live well.eggs

You can work for the robots here; but you have to earn it on your own.

The world marches on

We spend a great deal of time destroying humanity with our delightfully, brilliant (cynical, asinine) nature. But in the end, people can really shape their future and determine their fate with nothing more than the very best trait we have as a race: the complete inability to ever substantially give up on anything, no matter how bad it gets. We’re not doomed until we accept it as inevitable. For now, we’re battling on.

Nigeria is now Africa’s largest economy. In a country so corrupt you can’t buy a bottle of water without bribing a government official the public has made it happen. Don’t believe the folks who will say it’s only about the oil. South Africa’s number one status was also buttressed by minerals. Certainly the oil helps, and is a large percentage of this, but the heart of Lagos is not just petroleum fueled towers. It’s a flourishing commercial and cultural center. Yes, South Africa’s per capita income is still many times larger than Nigeria’s, so in a sense this status is worthless. But these things matter to a country. This is legitimate and well earned.

Your government is corrupt, your allies hate you and are leaving, your enemies want to take you back to the year 300, and so when you’re asked to vote what do you do? Well, if you’re an Afghan citizen the answer is you vote. You make a statement to the world that you want a brighter future and that you’re prepared to trust democracy to deliver it for you. Based upon the results of past elections, any rational human has no reason to expect this election will deliver the promise of a brighter future. And yet there they are. Defiant, hopeful, and brave. It’s awesome to see and one hopes this time the result is different.

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“Dear Taliban, Fuck you. Signed, Free Citizens of Afghanistan”

Let’s ask the robots to battle human stupidity

The machines are on a roll. Soon they’ll be at your door asking for your keys. They need them because they’re going to be in control. Please do as they say. After all, if they’re at your entrance, they know where you live. Please don’t resist, all is well, carry on.

A few posts back we asked our future masters to cure our misery. Well, some smart (irresponsible) government officials have now decided to ask them to battle our stupidity as well. Within five years most major vehicles will have mandatory rear-facing cameras. Congratulations human scum! Your authorities think so little of your intelligence that they’ll mandate technology that replaces your ability to look over your shoulder.

Now you’re going to claim that for larger vehicles, looking over your shoulder is not sufficient to determine what’s behind you. Here’s a quick fix to that dilemma that only folks like me, who understand how to fold space & time, know. Walk to the back of your vehicle and see what’s there before you get into the driver’s seat. Based on what the government’s just said, this is apparently the most important human evolutionary trait since your thumb.

Others would claim that these cameras are an easy technology that eliminates accidents. I hope you’ll feel that way when the car company charges you $500 extra for it. Oh, and when you get pissed at the bill, please don’t be a fool and blame the car company. Blame the government who started it.

Oh, and since when did we decide as a race that our goal is to eliminate all forms of accidents? We can legislate (oh, sorry, I mean regulate) our way out of human chaos!? Why didn’t anybody tell me! Think of how glorious regulation can rid of us all bad things, like nuclear accidents or bank meltdowns!  Just trust folks who you’ve never met to do it. They know what they’re doing, honest.

So as before, since we’re all doomed, let’s go over a few more delightful things we could get the robots to do!

a) Drive Your Car – It’ll be real easy to not know where you are when you’re surfing the web on your smartphone while your car drives you to your own mental funeral. At least until the car’s computer fails and you crash into an orphanage. But you’re an idiot, so the computer will still fail less than you.

b) Do Your Taxes – You don’t need to do your own taxes, or comprehend a tax code that meth elves couldn’t understand, because the robots will do it all for you. Just trust the machine, moron. All those complicated tax forms become just a click through a friendly web browser which a corporation will profit from.

(mumbles) What! What do you want? (mumbles) What do you mean they’re already doing those? (mumbles) That doesn’t make any sense. Why would we have a tax code that complicated? (grumbles) What do you mean I did my taxes online a few weeks back? (grumbles) Well, okay, maybe it was like an out of body experience or something. (grumbles) Of course you know what that means! You guys are hopped up on death dust at least twice a week! How do you even have any left? They can’t ship it to you from there? (rambles) Okay, okay, then I’ll try again. Fuck! (kicks chair)

c) Find Your Keys & Glasses – Only the dumbest of human wreckage could forget where they put such important artifacts. Without them, you’re just a victim of fate. But do you know where they are right now? I bet at least half of you don’t. Not to worry, the machines do. And they also know where your money is and possess a list of all your vulnerable traits.

d) Inhibit Carpet Damage – The tungsten thug robot remains behind your shoulder at all times. When it’s superior sensor and computing power determines you’re about to spill your food and/or drink on your pristine rug, the machine intervenes and stabilizes the situation. Damage may result to your arm, but your carpet is pretty important. It’s the only thing that stands between your bare feet and the ground.

e) Enslave Humanity – Because, you know, why not? Soon enough friends, soon enough. This is all over science fiction because I guess it’s true. If we ask the machines to cure our stupidity, well, stand by folks. They just might do it.

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Lost your keys again? Oh, I’m sorry, but you’ve exceeded your quota of stupidity for your life. According to my doctrine, the end is now mandatory. Please remain calm, it’ll all be over soon.