All the vaccine holdouts in the Western world should go ahead and let their governments know they won’t be participating. Then those countries can ship all the vaccines they’re holding to the rest of the planet who would kill for them. Rather than have to do without vaccines entirely, or get jabbed by a Chinese or Russian vaccine that’s mostly made of cadmium, green tea, and old newspaper shreddings of Pravda.
But what’s with all these vaccine incentives? Some States are giving out free beer, chances at a vacation, an alien tome that explains the meaning of life, lottery winnings, $43 equivalent in Roman Imperial gold, and so on. How come I didn’t get any of this fancy shit? I just showed up twice and they jabbed me like it was nothing. Where’s my Golden Idol?
Incentives are for losers. Fear is for winners. Here are some ideas that’ll be sure to get people into the vaccine door. We’ll call it: The Arcturus Project Vaccination Without Reward Program (TAPVWRP).
Get vaccinated OR:
1) Home is entered into a lottery where the fire department chooses a house to burn down for training purposes
2) Beloved dog and/or cat is offered up as a new permanent pet to a child with cancer, if child expires, pet does not come home and instead goes to another cancer child
3) Fired from job and not allowed to apply for a new one until a cooling period expires, financial difficulties are irrelevant
4) Hooligans are hired to throw bricks through windows and at cars at random intervals
5) Are entered into an all-purpose death battle royale inside a dome while reality television watches like some kind of D grade novel
6) Whatever the greatest fear, it must be endured it; for example, if one hates spiders they gotta open up the front door via a hole in the wall filled with bugs ala Temple of Doom
7) The State deliberately infects them with the Fall 2021 strain of influenza
8) Are forced to sit down and listen as Christopher Walken reads the first five books of the Old Testament (no bathroom or food breaks)
9) Friends are informed via a written forged letter (with handwritten signature) that forged author is a closet cannibal and wants to eat their tasty, tangy flesh
10) Why did I do this list? there is something wrong with me