Everything is apparently fake nowadays. The news is fake, science is fake, happy cat videos are faked, celebrity births are fake, and so on. So we decided to get in on the action, with this fake smoked salmon sandwich. It’s not actually smoked, but it’s ability to fill your body with delicious food will surely be the most realistic part of your day. So climb aboard our mystical journey, in a life where apparently nothing is more fake than the quest to determine your place in this currently destructive world. Wait, what? Let’s begin!
fake smoked salmon sandwich
1 pound salmon filet
salt & pepper
1 tsp Old Bay
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp crushed red pepper
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1 tbsp capers
1 tbsp tightly packed fresh dill or 1/2 tbsp dried
fresh lime juice
toasted bread, sliced
basil leaves, chopped
preheat the oven to 350 degrees, brush the salmon filet with olive oil, dust with salt & pepper, and sprinkle with juice of 1/2 lime
in a small bowl mix Old Bay, smoked paprika, crushed red pepper and rub over the salmon
wrap the salmon in foil, place the foil in a roasting pan, and bake for 15 minutes
increase the oven heat to 450 degrees, unroll the foil to expose the salmon and bake for 5 more minutes
while baking the salmon, in a small bowl mix the mayo, capers, dill, 1/2 lime juice
in a small skillet add 1 tbsp olive oil, add chopped onion and cook to your desired brownness and caramelization
to make the sandwich, spread the mixed mayo on the bread, add cut salmon filets, top with onions, basil, tomato, and arugula
After you’ve mixed up the spices, pat them into the salmon. The oil and lime juice you’ve brushed it with will allow the grains of goodness to stick to the salmon flesh. Smoked paprika is the top ingredient here. I’ve used paprika since the beginning of my cooking journey but have only recently discovered smoked paprika. It has so many delightful uses.
After 15 minutes in the oven the salmon is mostly cooked, but we now open the foil to expose it to the increased heat. This will allow your spice blend to brown considerably. Note the difference visually, I assure you the taste difference is even better.
Salmon is just about the most criminally easy thing to cook. So quick to do, and yet so delicious. I get the idea that salmon was one of those softballs God tossed to humanity after creation. We basically got left with war, pestilence, turmoil, and an ingrained desire to destroy ourselves. So God was like: oh, sorry, eh, uh, hmm, okay, here’s salmon.
The mayo gets mixed up briefly with the capers, dill, and lime juice. The onion is extra credit, you don’t need to do it if you don’t want. The greens and tomato just get thrown right on there. Use your bread of choice. I went with sourdough, but any good bread will do. Just flake the salmon to fit the size of the bread.
It’s a quick dish for a weeknight, that’s mostly healthy, and well worth your time.