it’s cool when corporations get shovey before you’ve had your morning coffee

Business isn’t rocket science. When you really look at who fails and who doesn’t, it’s generally easy to identify the keys to success. As in, for the most part, try not to piss off your customers.

Such as, before your customer has had their coffee, it’s generally not a good idea to get shovey with them in an attempt to push product.


Kind Young Woman Parroting Talking Points Forced Upon Her By Giant Corporate Octopus: Good morning Sir, would you like to try our chorizo burrito today?

The Arcturus Project: Uh, no, thanks, can I just get a large black coffee please.

KYWPTPFUHBGCO: Would you like anything else? 

TAP: Uh, no thanks.

KYWPTPFUHBGCO: Would you like an apple pie?

TAP: Uh, no thanks.


1) Please leave me alone

2) I just want coffee; can’t we conduct this mutually beneficial transaction without any added nonsense

3) I can’t imagine walking into Chipotle and having them ask me if I’d like something other than what I’ve ordered, thrice; which probably goes a long way towards explaining why Chipotle is currently cleaning McDonalds’ clock


maybe you need to stop being weird before you try and change the logo?

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