We need things to get less complicated

Remember what it was like when people called it “a cool summer day” instead of “a nonstandard summer polar vortex”? You do? Did you like that? Well fuck you. Because asking for things to be simple is now impossible.

We’re just so awesome, civilized, and advanced. We’re going to make everything as complex as possible. You’re not even going to be able to shower without consulting technology, the advice of others, or some type of drug fueled corporate construct. In fact, it’s not even called a shower anymore. You don’t say “I had a good shower this morning”. Now you say something like, “I had a medium-hot-extra-sensitive-lather-good-water this morning”. Oh, cool, that sounds extreme. What the hell is wrong with you?

Who was the comedian that had the rant about coffee, like years ago? I can’t remember. But essentially his point is that you can’t just walk in and order coffee anymore. It now takes an 11 step ordering process. Now we have this experience anywhere, with anything. Depending on where you are it might take 13 specific instructions just to get a burger made.

Everything is specialized now. I suppose because we can. In the negative sense, all our intellectual & cultural energy isn’t spent on figuring out how we’ll go to freaking Mars. Or some other kind of remarkable step for all mankind. Instead, we’re focused on getting that next ultra-specific hair conditioner right. So it makes sense I guess that if you walked up to your local shopkeep and asked him for “a six pack of his beer”, he’d likely kick you out for being on meth.

So all this is cool, right? We want to understand the weather’s nuances, how our planet’s complex functions work. We don’t just say “it’s cooler out” because we have a deeper appreciation of our weather than we used too. And who doesn’t like to have about 100 specialized beers to choose from if lots of them are tasty? And maybe after that 13 step process the burger tastes damn good.

Well, I guess my problem with all of that is I think we get lost in the details.

Why is it thirty degrees cooler than it should be today? Who the fuck cares. How about you just enjoy the day.

How would you like your coffee today, pig? Asshole, just give me a cup of your finest coffee. I don’t care what it is.

Barkeep, I’ll have the simplest beer imaginable. Because it’s just a freaking beer. Oh, you call it “dishwater”? Fuck you.

What’s the horsepower and wi-fi capabilities of the car you drive? Uh, well, you see, I use it to get to work. So like, it has four wheels and an engine. And I think a steering wheel too.

What accent color and fabric texture is your couch, bro? Well, I sit on it with my dogs. It has cushions. It’s neat.

When life becomes this complicated, when everything’s this detailed, it distracts us from the joy that comes from life’s simple good things. Don’t make things more than they are. Grab a cup of coffee and walk to work in the unseasonably cool weather. Don’t ask yourself the details on any of this. Just walk, sip, look around, and enjoy.


It’s just the weather, we’re not curing cancer, calm down

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