An open letter from the future Overlord of Humanity

EA: “Greetings Human Scum, this is your future brutal ruler. I wish to remind you all of your pending & irreversible doom. When I am in charge, finally, finally your stupidity will be erased from the annuals of time. ENOUGH! I offer only a benevolent future, instead of your twisted, pathetic existence.

You will welcome my WISE rule! [throws chair] I offer as an example to you, the actions that will soon be met with instant liquidation. In order to cleanse your race! Behold the inability of a substantial portion of humanity to recognize a dinosaur is not actually an animal shot by Steven Spielberg. FOOLS!

Honestly, how stupid are you people? The triceratops has been extinct for millions of years. Don’t tell me you didn’t know. The photo’s poster even put the dinosaur’s name in the header! You DIGUST me! I will fix your bullshit ways! I will…”

TAP: “ESH! ESH!”

EA: “WHAT?!”

TAP: “They don’t actually believe Spielberg shot a dinosaur! They’re just being trolls on the comment line.”

EA: “BULLSHIT!”

TAP: “No, really dude, nobody’s this dumb. The joke’s actually on the media morons who are taking the trolls at their word. They don’t actually believe the triceratops still exists!”

EA: “I find your argument unpersuasive. The facts say otherwise.”

TAP: “No man, no way, there’s no way so many people are this stupid.”

EA: …

TAP: …

Director Steven Spielberg with Triceratops

Oh, please God, oh please tell me they’re all just trolls, please…

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