An Arcturan bolt pistol is to your temple.  You have five seconds to choose.  In twenty years, you’re very much alive, but you can only live in Russia or Ukraine.  Don’t give me how you hate the options, it’s all you get.  Five seconds to choose.  Go!

…

You chose Ukraine?  Yeah, I figured.  If you’d picked Russia, Esh-Ala would have squeezed the trigger.

In the original Batman movie, still the best, Lieutenant Eckhart possesses an inability to “think about the future”.  This results in him taking a revolver round to the chest in a comic book chemical factory.  If I were a Russian in Crimea, I’d be thinking about the future a great deal.

Who knows what the planet will look like in twenty years.  But I’ll bet my money that Ukraine’s going to look a lot better than the alternative.  When in doubt, bet on freedom and democracy kids, it usually works out.  Will Ukraine have these things in twenty years, maybe not, but I’ll still go with them first.

Now granted, there’s something to be said for trying to live with your kin.  But saying an ethnic Russian in Crimea is happier living under a dictator than he would be under a Ukrainian democracy is like saying a Deutsche in Strasbourg would enjoy living more under Hitler because they’re both German.

(mumblings)  What?  (mumblings)  Why can’t I make that comparison?  (mumblings)  She said what?  (mumblings)  Who cares?  (mumblings)  Now wait a second, that doesn’t even make any sense.  Hitler was so much better than Uncle Vladimir that he got the West to actually sign off on the Sudetenland.  He also had a far higher body count at that point.  Although you have to admire how Vlad’s gotten Crimea without having to shoot even one human.  (mumblings)  Well, yes, maybe the West is going to cave just like they did back then.  (mumblings)  Yeah, yeah, I don’t know what century we’re living in either, but I think we’re on repeat.  It’s probably always felt like this.

In six months, after Vladimir’s totally in control, what you’re doing now will result in your receiving Kremlin supplied tear gas and rubber bullets.  Enjoy what you’ve done.